Thanksgiving and us.
Beginning a relationship is always interesting, especially when it comes to where you are looking to spend holidays. Every holiday seems to be a challenge and makes for interesting decisions. Thanksgiving Day 1999, the first Thanksgiving we will spend together as a family, married and amazed. She is pregnant, expecting our first baby and here I am arriving back from my first deployment. One-step at a time my entire life revolves around the woman I fell for, beautiful, perfect brown hued skin, her ancestry a mix of Japanese and African American. Our children will have my strong Scottish blood and her beautiful skin, neither of us can wait.
Everything I do is for her and the family we are starting. All I can think is youth, married young, are we ready for the steps that involve a family? Our first Thanksgiving dinner will be at her mother's house, thankfully, her mother seems to like me, and her aunts have made it abundantly clear that they love me. Why am I scared; what is a holiday really? After all, we are celebrating more than just our life together, the beginning of the greatest experiment on earth, similar to the great experiment of the country we live in. Different racial and social backgrounds combined to make one happy whole.
My parents are not sure how to handle our relationship, so I avoid the situation. Maybe when the baby comes they will be more accepting. Is life always going to be this hard, I am flying in now ready to see my wonderful wife and her baby belly, short trip to the house and we sit down to eat, enjoying the moment and each other. My parents are there but distant, her eyes are so beautiful. Everything bad fades away as I look at her again.
Thanksgiving 2001, so much has happened this year, so much time has passed. I am still enlisted, and I will not be able to make it home today. They have our entire base on lockdown still. This is the first holiday I am missing with my family. My son is going to be eating big people food, and my wife is upset about my job. All I wanted was to be able to spend the holidays with my family. Why did all of this have to happen now?
Eating alone in the mess hall, the food is decent and my mind is full. Maybe I will get a weekend pass; I put in for it three weeks ago. After dinner I walk to the phones, our calls are monitored and short. My wonderful wife answers the phone, dinner was at her mothers; my parents did not even call her. The stress is hard, but I have to be strong for her. "Things will be ok" I say, not really believing it myself now.
I got it, my weekend pass, 48 hours of freedom. Turning the key in the door, she pulls it open. Life is better so much better now. My son toddles up to me and leans on my legs. I feel happy and somehow full. Yes, life is good, and everything will be ok. Another day passes into night as we cuddle, talking of the family and each other. I love this woman, and our family. This is Thanksgiving.
Thanksgiving 2004, our second child is due any minute. Life is far more real now, no longer a fairy tale. Where will dinner be this year? My parents have asked us, however, so have hers. Do not fight with me, I just want to rest. Work is long and I am tired. Our new house needs another toilet in our son's room. He is going on five soon, he is getting taller and years are getting shorter.
It has been decided that we will be eating at our house this year. The first time since we were married that my In-Laws and Parents will all is here together. At least my brothers and sisters are coming, at times like these I wonder how she feels as an only child. I hope that that will relieve some pressure. Maybe we can put the new pool table to use; she wants to play cards though. What about the turkey, neither of us has ever made one, will it be ok? Questions, worries, increasing, but it will be fine after all family eventually must go home.
Dinner comes and goes and thankfully, the turkey was perfect. The yams could have been better; however, the main part was good! Nothing to worry about and to think we almost got in a fight over this. Sitting out back, having a drink with the adults, we begin talking about what has been and what we wish would be. Could life be any better than this? I look around at my still lovely wife, and growing son, his curly black hair shining and bouncing in the sun as he yells running behind his older cousins.
Thanksgiving 2006, the baby is screaming, a headache is forming. My wife yells for me to come over and pick her up. I slam the door, walking all the way inside. Yes, getting home from work makes this so much more interesting. "Why can't you take care of the baby, and give me just a minute?" I think.
Tomorrow we go to see my parents; the decision was made. Their house for Thanksgiving and her parents for Christmas; yes that will work. It should make things easier. We fall asleep barely touching, exhausted from the day's events wearing on us.
It is morning, and the baby is crying yet again. "What is it this time?" my wife asks. I get up and go to check, entering the kitchen I see; the pumpkin pie my wife made is now a pumpkin smudge on the floor. I get the mop out, trying to finish it before she wakes up. Now the children and I are wandering through the only store that is open; we find a pie, not hers, but it will do. We are just barely sitting down in the living room as she walks in.
We arrive at my parent's house, kids in tow and both of us frazzled; apparently, the pie she made was not pumpkin. Thankfully, she understands and lets it go. My parents are answering the door, mom is smiling, and dad is laughing. Wondering why, we turn around and see the last of the new pie slowly falling from my youngest child's hands. My wife looks at me and laughs, all we can do is laugh. Family together, all of us loving each other and knowing that no matter what, this is what is important.
Thanksgiving 2008, our youngest is almost four and mom is climbing the walls. Our son helps; however, we all know what that entails. Oh no, Thanksgiving is next week what do we do? We may have the energy to stop at both parents houses; however, we will not be preparing a dinner here this year. Time passes quickly and before we realize it, everything changes. We were fighting again today; I hope the kids did not hear us. I cannot even remember why, does it matter, will we be ok? I heard it today on the radio Nadia Ali said it so well "Got your masterpiecebut you don't seem pleased" I see my wife in this song, she seems to have everything, or is it really just me?
Next week comes quickly and I have realized that everything I always felt is still there. Watching her playing with the children, turning and looking at me, she is still so beautiful. Her eyes twinkle, is it just my mind, no she is smiling. Everything will be ok; the feelings wane and grow every day we wake up knowing we may feel differently. What is Thanksgiving to us now? The celebration of our life together; it seems over time that we have lived our lives around this holiday. A special place of contented rest seems to follow our holidays now, no matter how stressful things seem it will be all right.
Our family has grown, and every year we have experienced change. The knowledge of who we are grows and our family bonds grow deeper as we grow. Thanksgiving means the world to our family, our lives, and me. Nadia Ali sings it right "I never want to feel it end what a lovely moment" Life is only as good as we are willing to make it. I realize at this moment that we have grown, from a new marriage into something wonderful and lasting. Time is told with each holiday spent together, every Thanksgiving Day is a different challenge and unique in its own way. Nothing we go through can change what we have. The challenges and adventures seem to be overwhelming at times; however, we know that our lives together were meant to be.