by Jenna Obney

Created on: November 23, 2008   Last Updated: February 04, 2009

I have to admit that my parents were pretty great. They taught us love and family and friendship are more important than money and social standing. They installed good values in us kids and for that I will always be grateful. I hope that I can instill the same sense of values and safety in my children that my parents gave me.

That does mean that my parenting style will be the same as theirs. As a teenager I thought my parents were the worst, but then, what teenager doesn't? I vowed that I would treat my children much better. It's not teenage angst that makes me say I won't be like them though.

The truth is, kids are growing up faster and faster these days, and parents have to learn to adapt much quicker than they did before. I didn't have my first cell phone until I was 19 and living on my own. Kids these days have cells phones at 10! By the time I am ready to raise my own children they will probably find a way to give toddlers cell phones! This allows parents to give their children more freedom, or to hold the reins more tightly. I didn't get an allowance, but I know teenagers these days that could make my car payments with their allowance. I was rarely allowed caffeine, grew up drinking juice and kool-aid, but kids these days drink Red Bull like I used to drink milk!

Parenting styles have to change to keep up with the ever changing world around us. Not to mention, that my child's father may have his own ideas about how to raise a child and I will have to adapt and compromise with him, as well.

So while my parents did a fairly good job with me, and I grew up to be fairly stable and independant, I know that raising my children as I was raised will not only be impossible, but highly improbable. I hope to be able to instill the same old fashioned values in my children that my parents gave me. I hope that when they are adults they will have as good a relationship with me as I have with my own mother. That doesn't change the fact that times are changing and things that my parents did are just not feasible in this day and age.

For instance, I will never allow my daughter out all day in the summer without checking in. Sometimes I went whole days without ever seeing my mom. I went out in the morning to play with my friends, ate at different friends houses, lunch, dinner, snacks, and came home when the street lights came on. That's how it was in my neighborhood. Everyone raised everyone else's kids. Not so anymore. Kids go missing everyday, predators lurk around every corner. No one raises a hand to help when they see someone in trouble. No way would I let my child go unprotected and unchecked.

In high school I drank and smoked cigarrettes. That was the norm, and the bone of contention in my house. Nowadays there are drugs everywhere! A local junior high just had a major drug bust! Junior high! How can any parent not be worried 24/7 about where their child is and what they are doing? I don't plan to police my children and become a 'helicopter mom' but I also don't plan on allowing my children the same freedoms that I was allowed.

Do I think my parents did a good job raising me? Yes. Do I plan to follow in their footsteps with my own children? The answer is a resounding NO!

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