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If you are reading this then you have already completed the first, and most difficult, step. You have recognized that the relationship that you are in is toxic and you know you need to get out. There are many reasons why a relationship can become toxic; but regardless of the reason you just have to get out. Depending on the nature of your relationship we need to go about this in one of two ways.

if you don't live with your partner then this should be a little easier and less stressful for you. As long as the situation is safe sit down with your partner and just do it like your taking off a band-aid. Rip it off quick. If you peel it slowly it is just going to hurt that much more. Be very careful not to blame. Just explain that these are the problems that you are having and that you don't see them being repaired in this relationship and that it is best for both partners to part ways. And then get out of there as quickly as possible as to not allow your partner time to try to talk you out of it. Don't be fooled. It's not going to end there. Your cell phone is going to ring. Your going to get texted off the wall. And the former partner may even show up at your house. This is where you just need to be strong and sever all contact. Don't answer the phone. Don't reply to the text. And please, for your own safety, never open the door. Eventually the former partner is going to drift away. Whether they meet someone new, or you are just lucky enough that they lead a busy life and just can't find the time to make you crazy. Just be swift and end it. And forget the whole "being friends" line because you can't be friends with this person. If the relationship was toxic to begin with your just going to be walking into a toxic friendship.

If you do currently live with your partner. This is a little trickier and you really need to enlist the help of trusted friends or family members. If it is your apartment then you need to go around and gather the partners belongingss and neatly pack them and have them ready in a closet or something; just out of sight of the conversation. Then just do the same as above. As long as the situation is safe sit down with your partner and just do it like your taking off a band-aid. Rip it off quick. But be sure to have someone stacked out near by in case the partner doesn't want to leave the apartment. This is your home and you have the right to ask someone to leave. If the home belongs to your partner or even both of you then you need to be the one that needs to go. If you're making the decision to end it then that becomes your closure.

Before you do anything make sure you find a place you can stay. If you can afford it get your own place. But that is the absolute first thing you have to do. Then slowly begin removing things from the home that the other won't notice missing. Certain amounts of clothing or personal items. Then while they are out put the last of the items that are yours in your car and when they come in you follow the same rules. With a friend on stand by, rip it off quick and get out of there. That way there is no lingering while you gather your things. If you have left anything behind you may just have to call it a loss.

In situations like this you just have to do it and be out. There is no other way.

Learn more about this author, Elaine M. Healy.
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