by April P

Created on: November 23, 2008   Last Updated: February 03, 2009

If asked years ago when I first married at nineteen, the question "What are the benefits of frequent sex in a marriage?"It would be a far different answer than the one I would give now having been married and divorced twice.

Being a woman, I thrive on communication and intimacy; men however, seem to thrive on the physical and providing. What we do share in common that brings us together is a desire to be loved and accepted for who we are.

For me, it has been a crucial discovery to find that while my marriages had good and bad aspects, the one thing missing from both of them was the intimacy that should have developed within through frequent sexual sharing. We shared raising children, budgets, responsibilities but never really shared ourselves; leaving both of us unhappy and unconnected.

Having been taught like many women for so long that being sexual was for men and real woman shouldn't know about or discuss their sexual desires and curiosities, I feel it limited my ability to communicate with my partner, causing that disconnect. What better place to share your soul than wrapped in your spouse's arms.

I have since the end of my marriage five yrs ago done my fair share of finding out who I am and what makes me tick. I have read countless books, blogs and explored through experimentation. Opening up a world for me that was always elusive or forbidden.

I am in a relationship now where all of the elements are there and the sexual intimacy enhances the connection we have and it is our time to be open, honest, creative, loving and share the most vulnerable parts of ourselves and have them accepted and cherished. Being connected more frequently sexually brings out the best in both of us, creating happier parents, involved friends and allows for a compassionate forum to discuss the toughest subjects and know we will still be accepted and loved.

So in case your wondering what my answer would have been at nineteen, It would simply have been "I don't know."

Amazing what a few years of life experience can do for your soul. So even though I am not married now and may never marry again, I would highly recommend frequent and fun sexual intimacy with your partner. You will never regret the openness and the loving that will transcend even the darkest moments in your relationship, with every intimate moment short or long that is shared you both grow and become better and stronger people.

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