by Kristal Stafford

Created on: November 23, 2008

True love is so hard to find, because love itself is so difficult, if at all possible, to define. How do we know the difference between love and true love? Is there a scale on which all factors in life and relationships are weighed to identify which actions are true love, or just love in general? We can't even make the assumption that true love exists in the most obvious of circumstances.

For example, one can assume that the love between a mother and child is true love. We could assume that because she is the baby's life force. She provides the oxygen he needs,and the food that nourishes his developing body. They are bound together by a cord of life and she incubates him in warmth and protection until his date of arrival. But is that love or biology? Whether she loves the child or not, he is receiving care because she must feed and protect herself. It is the actions that the mother makes after her child takes is own breaths, and requires nourishment outside of her body that will begin the true measure of the love she has for this tiny human being.

Will taking vows to love, honor, and cherish another person be sufficient in discovering where true love exists? It's obviously possible, but please explain why so many couples stay in unmarried partnerships for decades without ever seeing an altar. Could it be that a marriage may complicate their current lifestyles? Maybe the same can be said for unmarried couples as for married couples. After time, companionship can be confused for love. Routine is comfort, and with this comfort comes the belief that two people belong to gather. Have you every heard someone say of their spouse or partner, "we stay together because she's the only one that can stand me," or "he's my best friend because he knows everything about me?"

We have created so many degrees of love. We have given it different names such as puppy love, to minimize the degree and longevity of love. We've also created the term "in-love" to define the infatuation, emotion and severe feelings typically felt in the beginning stages of love. Maybe labeling something that, in itself, has no meaning, we have further complicated a completely pure emotion. As a result, relationships are created, some planned, others not, only to be disrupted due to a perception of love. If there are no actions, or the right words are not spoken, love can seemingly fail. Is it fair to ourselves to keep pursuing true love, if we all perceive true love differently?

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