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BEATING DEPRESSION

Depression is anyone's too-personal horror story. There are things you can look out for, in yourself and your friends and loved ones. There are things you can do for yourself. Every bit of emotional comfort counts with depression. Every reassurance helps. This is the story of getting it right before it becomes a serious problem. With any luck, I hope it might even help people with more serious conditions.

The onset of depression can be quite unexpected. There's little warning. You might feel a bit out of sorts, perhaps tired, listless. Sometimes you might have an instance of being a bit tearful, or just plain moody. Nothing necessarily unusual. I'd hit 40 that year, and was very busy. My mother had died six months earlier, and I was in the process of putting myself back together after that particularly sad ordeal. However, I didn't feel any worse, or sadder than might be considered normal under the circumstances.

As you can see, any warning signs I might have seen were well camouflaged. The first real indication was lack of concentration. It was like trying to read a book when you're too tired, and the words just won't stay on the page. Then came the grief. Episodes occurred for no particular reason. I'd find myself crying as if in real emotional distress, or trying to keep track of my own thinking. It was annoying, as well as troubling. The grief was never attached to any particular event, or even person. The thinking just wouldn't stay on the rails. I cursed myself for my lack of attention, and kept on with daily life.

Obviously, I hadn't recognized the symptoms. I'd heard of depression, but like most healthy people, you never really think of it as a risk. That was a mistake. I could, possibly, have just gone and seen the doctor sooner, and saved myself what happened next. I might have recognized that something was wrong, even if I hadn't figured out what. This dragged on for about a month. Although I felt unusually edgy, I didn't think of it as much more than a series of experiences, not related to each other.

Then the big rock hit. One evening, I was shopping. Suddenly, passing a church, I thought I should go in and ask for help. Help with what, I didn't know. My logic wasn't being terribly informative. Then I got very sad, for another unidentified reason. This all happened in a few seconds. It was scary, and quite unpredictable.

NOW I was worried. Fortunately, my doctor's practice was on the opposite block, so my shopping and I went to see

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