by Catherine Morris

Created on: November 22, 2008

Remember to keep breathing in and out. Don't get run over. Learn from your mistakes.

These are all lessons for life but how do you really teach someone about life? Life is like a journey, a sojourn into the unknown, out of our control and where often the best plans fall apart and then we're told "It's a lesson for life". Does wisdom lie in learning lessons for life?

Regret can be a destructive emotion. It lies in desiring things to be different and, with hindsight, wishing another course of action had been taken. Hindsight can be wonderful and frustrating but it is advisable, wherever possible, to avoid regret. You cannot ever change what has already happened but you can sometimes change what will happen next. Wisdom lies in discerning between the things you can do something about and the things that you cannot and in accepting that some things can never be changed. Lessons for life should teach us to be wise.

Throughout our lives, from early childhood onwards, the accumulation of a skills "toolbox" should be encouraged. As we meet with different situations and circumstances, any new skills or coping strategies we acquire or employ should be stored in our metaphorical toolkit so we can draw upon them again and again, as needed at a time in the future.

Suitable skills for the toolbox might include tips for building relationships, self understanding, anger management and showing compassion. Such aspects of temperament and attitude can sometimes be undeveloped and mistakes in relationships, both personal and in the working environment, can occur as a result of a lack of skills or coping strategies. Other challenging events in life such as divorce, bereavement, our own mortality and many other unexpected situations that crop up can be better dealt with if skills are in place to do so.

Even with a fully equipped toolkit it would be simplistic to suggest that all problems in life are solved. Acceptance of change can seem impossible. Realising that resistance is futile is difficult. The Four Noble Truths of Buddhism teach that suffering in life is caused by resistance to change and that the path to Nirvana lies in coming to terms with this. One does not have to become a Buddhist to see that trying to follow The Middle Way, avoiding extremes in all circumstances, offers certain wisdom.

We do not know what lies ahead in life and many of us believe that it would not do to know. However, it is foolish to crash on ahead without some kind of structure in life. Routine forms an important part of our daily existence. Many of us choose to live within our comfort zone. Some of us are greater risk takers than others, more willing to leave things to chance. Others are control freaks who cannot bear matters to be out of their control. Our uniqueness makes life more exciting.

Lessons for life are mostly dictated by experience. Some people may choose to ignore most of them but perhaps if we are prepared to learn them we will have a better chance of making the most of our relatively short time on earth.

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