Fathers today are presented with wonderful opportunities to share in an experience which was formerly thought of as a woman's perogative. While traditionalists may decline to take choices available, there are good reasons why these choices are so viable. Childbirth classes are a learning process and have many benefits for the expectant father as well as mother and child. This article sets out to explain the benefits so that expectant fathers get a better picture of what is involved and how it helps him to make his experience as a dad more complete.
*Helping the family unit.
*Bonding with your wife.
*Being made aware. *Learning to share responsibility.
*Growing closer to the child.
*Being the real man of the house.
Helping the family unit.
When a woman got pregnant in years gone by, the advice she gleaned on what was happening to her body and the changes she could expect depended upon advice from other women. A mother may give good advice, friends may share their experiences. What is missing from the equation and has been corrected by childbirth classes is the sharing between a man and his wife of an experience which turns their marriage into a family. This sharing strengthens the bonds of family because it reinforces that the pregnancy is a joint venture.
By attending the classes, a husband is more sympathetic than one who understands very little about the process of pregnancy. You can glean information from books, though hands on experience of learning is more effective and not solitary. Book learning doesn't give you ideas of how to quell fears, whereas lessons attended by both husband and wife do give indications of areas of doubt, worry and insecurity, allowing these to be looked at from two points of view, coupled with advice from professionals.
Bonding with your wife.
Imagine the scenario. Your wife has never experienced pregnancy before. She has no idea of what is to come. As she gets bigger, she fears that day when the child is born. It's uncomfortable and in the mind of a woman whose hormones are speeding into different gears, can be extremely frightening. What a man does when he attends childbirth classes is instantly give the message that "We are in this together", which in turn gives the woman much more strength and assurance.
It has been said that men feel labor pains, though what this actually means is that a caring husband feels for his wife, and empathizes to such a degree that they are able to feel the same pain that their wife is enduring. While many choose not to take part in childbirth classes, what they are missing out on is an amazing revelation which reveals what their wife feels and how she is coping with the pregnancy. It should never be assumed that women are natural mothers. Growing fat and bulky, losing their confidence, experiencing breast pains and worried about the normality of their new born child are huge responsibilities. These can be shared and confidence given to a woman who is in a period of her life where her steps are tentative and unsure.
The man who cares sufficiently to go through all the childbirth classes will begin to understand the significance of the huge responsibility of parenthood long before those who wait for it to happen before getting involved. The role they play strengthens the woman who feels vulnerable. It reassures them and in all relationships, the strengths of one person should balance the weakness of the other, making the bond between a couple a more complete experience.
Being made aware.
You see your wife struggling and getting back ache. You see her feeling bad or going through the stages of pregnancy. What childbirth classes do it teach you how to cope with these feelings, and gives you, as a couple, an avenue for discussion. A woman who attends these classes on her own still has this vast weight of responsibility on her shoulders, though if the man attends the classes too, his logic and common sense will be able to reassure. He may think of questions she is too involved to ask. He may be able to learn how his presence helps his wife at a time when everything depends upon her awareness, thus lightening the load expected of her.
A man who is aware will be able to take action if something goes wrong. They will have learned how to deal with emergency situations and it isn't enough that one person should shoulder the responsibility. When two have the same understanding, this helps enormously, and can make the world of difference in what could turn out to be a life and death situation.
Learning to share responsibility.
When you walk down the aisle in the church to get married, it is assumed that you give to each other your love, your understanding and offer to share your life with that person you love. This doesn't stop when you come back from honeymoon, nor when you go back to work after the wedding. What people tend to do is lose focus. A successful couple will be the one which understands that a shared responsibility is a lesser responsibility rather than a greater one.
The marriage partnership becomes more focused and both parties to the marriage learn that as the marriage evolves into a family, there is much more to it than playing defined roles. By going to childbirth classes, the man is sharing something fundamentally important with his wife, and in doing so learns so much about what to expect. The stages of lessons help fathers to realize that it isn't a question of their lives being thrown into disruption for 9 months, but is a whole life changing event. The father who is aware benefits because they are better equipped to deal with all events which follow.
Growing closer to the child.
Have you ever seen a man listening to their wife's tummy, or putting their hand upon it to feel their baby kick? From the moment of conception, a child is growing and sharing small things like this as well as seeing the first images of the child forming fills a father with a kind of pride, but does more than this.
A man is becoming a father, and faced with this at childbirth classes reinforced by hospital check-ups, it is amazing the amount of men who form ideas and a relationship with that child long before it is born. This period of waiting is an ideal opportunity to get to know your child, to discuss ideas about their life, and to enjoy the joys of nature in action. The prepared father will know how to react at the birth and not be as afraid as a man who has had no preparation. This strength and confidence is what will meet that child as they take their first moments of breathing independently, and the love of both parents from that very moment will make a difference. The change made doesn't just affect how the child perceives their parents reception of that child but also affects how the parent reacts to the birth.
Being the real man of the house.
What many men do not realize until too late is that to be a real man doesn't mean that they have to be macho in attitude, or role play. A man who is closed to change often misses out on opportunity, and do not learn that part of their own personality which may eventually give them the most joy. Being a real man is being true to self, though having sufficient empathy for those within their lives to understand that parenthood doesn't bring separate roles as mother and father. The strongest relationships are those where parents see themselves as part of the family unit, and are prepared to open their minds to sharing.
Going to childbirth classes helps a man to be complete as a parent. Their understanding of procedure isn't enough on its own. If they attend classes, they learn what to expect, how to react, how to be that strong father figure that their wife needs, and also that the eventual child will need as they grow older. It's an eye opening event that teaches tolerance, understanding, empathy, responsibility and puts this hand in hand with strength and security, which is where the traditionalist role of a parent and the new ones meet, making that man more equipped for parenting.