1 of 230

Write now Article Tools

Page 2 of 2

those least likely to be considered "bad" later on. The trouble is that there is no real test for wisdom. (For that matter, a part of wisdom is recognizing "I am fallible", and embracing what is unchangeable.) Empathy, too, is a part of wisdom, as the ability to understand without knowing can shape decisions that involve others.

Consider the following scenario:

A business man in his thirties, married to a woman he loves greatly, is sent to a two-week conference in another state. During a social interlude, he makes the acquaintance of an attractive woman who works in his field, and they hit it off well enough that they spend much of their free time in one another's company. One evening, she invites him back to her room, without any pretense as to what she desires. He is faced with a choice. From an emotional perspective, he'd really like to go with her. He does find her attractive, he loves his wife, and it's been a week or so since he's been with a woman. The knowledge he has available includes several facts: he is married, he isn't likely to get caught, his wife would not be happy if he did somehow get caught, and this opportunity is not likely to present itself again. Wisdom suggests to him he would carry the guilt of having betrayed his wife's trust if he does go with the woman. Depending on the force of these factors in this individual, he makes a choice.

Choice #1: He goes with the woman to her room. (Presumably they have a wonderful time.)

Choice #2: He regretfully refuses the woman's offer. (He then goes and calls his wife for company.)

With the information you had, and your own personal views, you probably have an opinion as to which choice he should have made. But consider the two possible aftermaths, and see which choice the man would view as "good" or "bad" when he looks back.

Aftermath A: The man returns home to his wife, and they live full and happy lives together.

Aftermath B: The man returns home, only to discover soon after that his wife secretly loves another, and she wants a divorce.

The future is always unknown, so it is difficult to predict which decisions will have the outcome we desire. If the man made Choice #1 and Aftermath A came about, he would likely look back on his choice with guilt, and consider it a dark point in his past - a bad choice. Had Aftermath B occurred however, he would likely view it as a good decision, particularly if it led to a fresh and longer-lasting relationship. If he went with Choice #2, the reverse is true. Aftermath A makes it a good choice, with only perhaps a lingering "I wonder what would have happened..." to entertain him at dull moments. Aftermath B would leave him kicking himself for eternity, as he didn't take advantage of what he had, and wound up with nothing (or less than nothing, depending how the divorce went).

In the end, people must make the best decisions that they are able, afterwards dealing with whatever consequences may come. The important thing is that "bad" choices are recognized and not repeated in the future. There's a famous quote: "Those that refuse to learn from the past are doomed to repeat it" ...and deserve to be kicked in the head.

Learn more about this author, Ernest Capraro.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

• << previous page
• 1
• 2

Add your voice

Know something about Why we make bad choices in life?
We want to hear your view. Write now!