by Taylor Ibanez

Created on: November 21, 2008

I never really understood why my father never wanted me in his life. As far back as I can remember, my father always had better things to do. The funny thing is, he never really had any demanding jobs, hobbies, or sports activities. He never did anything but drink and complain about the worlds problems. He would watch television and record movies. He also had a diverse porn collection that was never hidden very well. He smoked, drank and would hang out at the Star Motel with all his drinking buddies. He rarely cleaned up after himself but would yell at me for being messy.

When I was old enough to start smoking, what ever age that was. I think I was twelve. He told me, "If your gonna smoke...Smoke in front of me." He gave me a full pack out of his carton. He never really shared any life lessons with me or showed me how to do anything. He just gave me smokes.

He did however on occasion take me to the dump and let me check out all the cool stuff people threw away. Till this day, I still enjoy going to the dump. Funny how garbage is the bonding experience I remember most vividly. Needless to say, he was the worst father a kid could ever have. Well, I suppose there's worse. I truly feel that if he beat me but showed some tenderness and love once in awhile rather than ignoring me all together, I would not be writing this article. My father took apathy to it's zenith.

He was the oldest out of eight children and his father ignored him too. His mother spoiled him but she demanded he picked up the slack for his father that was always working. His younger siblings would get most of the attention. When they were unruly, my father was blamed for not watching them. My father lost out on allot of normal childhood things. His toys were always ruined by his younger brother and he would have to sacrifice other material possessions for his brothers and sisters to use. I always felt he viewed me as a sibling and was in competition for my mothers love.

He would throw me under the bus. I never felt protected by him. Rings true if I was stealing his mothers attention. My mother replacing his mother, you see. He would try to be a parent. He would only try if my mother forced him to. When she wasn't around, he would be himself. When she came around, he would suddenly be the father of the year.

I grew to hate him at a very young age. I don't remember the reason but I remember him punishing me once. It was out of the ordinary because all he did was yell before. He dragged me into my bedroom

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