by Tiffany Lott

Created on: November 21, 2008   Last Updated: September 02, 2010

Hi. My name is Mommy and I'm a parent. A lot of people don't consider me as such because I only have one child. They say that I don't have to wonder who it was that broke my grandmother's precious china. They're wrong. You know, just because I only have one child, does not mean I have only one dependent.

Yep. You guessed it. My husband. He's very convincing when it comes to blaming the three-year-old. You'd think he'd feel some pang of guilt and confess to the horrible crime, but no. He fears the wrath of mother as he should.

But my little boys (father and son) can be read as an open book. Mommy knows when one is fibbing. "Little man" as I like to call him, puts on his most innocent face while Daddy looks directly into my eyes. Both signs throw up red flags all over the place. Great. More things to pick up.

Ah! But I don't have to hear, "Mom, he's touching me," and things of that nature, right? Wrong again! I think the most commonly used expression at my house is, "I can't see!" Isn't it amazing how children find the most precise place to stand to obscure your view of the television?

It occurs to me that maybe Little Man's not getting the appropriate attention that he needs, so I go with him to his room and start a movie of our own. Of course, a three-year-old is not capable of being silent for more than thirty seconds and he proceeds to ask me who the characters are and what they are doing. "I don't know," I tell him, "because you just talked through the part where we find out." You'd be surprised how interesting a child's movie can be. Nevertheless, Little man gets bored and hops down off of the recliner. I'm oh so interested in the storyline. Something's going to happen. It's coming. My eyes are glued to the monitor, and then nothing. "I can't see!" I say.

Again, I organize my priorities and focus myself on the boy beside me. I pick up a toy to play with him. "No! I wanted to play with that one!" So, I relinquish the toy and pick up another one. Finally, the truth comes out. "I want you to go to the living room, Mommy." Well, okay then.

Some days Little Man wants to "help" me with the dishes and laundry. I use quotations because it really just means that I'll have to re-rinse the dishes because soap is still clinging to nearly every one of them, re-organize them because he just stacks them atop of one another in the dish drainer(which most likely won't change as he gets older), and throw two towels on the floor to soak up the flood of water that somehow missed the sink.

I don't complain though. I smile and thank him. "I love you, Mommy!" he says and hugs my leg tightly. Awww. Such a sweet little man. And all the other troubles just disappear. Until tomorrow.

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