by Ken Clark

Created on: November 21, 2008   Last Updated: January 10, 2009

When it comes to being an eligible bachelor in professional circles, it's a jungle out there. And truth be told, most dating encounters leave quality men feeling more like Tarzan's chimp, than a hunk in a loin cloth. With so many pitfalls, it's no wonder that the best of us choose to hide out in our tree houses rather than trying to find our Jane among the throngs of hostile natives.

Of course, our biggest dating fear is being suckered by the professional "damsel in distress." You know the kind - they put out the vibe that they would finally be happy if they just found a good man (with a good job) to love on. But as time goes by, we realize that they've turned the vine we swung in on into a leash. We were just a stepping stone on their way to their fifteen minutes of fame on the upcoming season of "The Real Housewives."

A less treacherous, but equally exhausting form of dating quicksand, is the 24/7 power woman. Now don't get us wrong - even though most of us like to beat our chests and play the alpha male from time to time, we're all for successful and empowered women. But the overly professional woman, the one who is looking to form a "great partnership" or make a "strategic merger," is a little more than most of us can take. After a hard day of taming the business jungle, most of us would prefer some TV time instead of networking at the local after-work hot spot.

That's not to say our dating woes spring solely from a shortage of the right kind of women. We know you're out there and we're actively looking for you. But be aware, there are plenty of traps and detours that keep us from finding you. If you're the right woman, we're actually going to need your help from time to time to extricate us from of the simple traps we fall into. After all, we are still men.

Perhaps the biggest entanglement for most of us, is our trusty Tarzan tools. We've replaced the knife strapped to our waist with a Blackberry and a laptop. Of course, these things are invaluable as we navigate the jungle, but less than romantically productive as we hang out with you by the waterfall. Left to our own devices (no pun intended), we'll spend our entire day off looking at them instead of you. For the sake of our relationship, feel free to request, beg, and demand that we put the toys down.

Another trap that we have trouble avoiding, is our run-in's with the various "tribal chiefs" of our professional world. You know, the people who are always trying to pawn off of their village's maidens to every eligible guy that steps foot in your office. It seems we can't visit a single customer without the office manager trying to hook us up with someone that all the other guys in the office have the wisdom to avoid. Sadly, because were sometimes so weary from the hunt, we actually find ourselves nodding "yes" to the offer to set us up. If your office is inhabited by such a chief, and you've got an inkling of interest in getting to know us, I've just got one word - HELP! Feel free to swoop in and send some smoke signals to hold out for something better.

In the end, never forget that we're men of the jungle. We're not afraid of relationships, but we are afraid of finding a Jane who silently expects to tame us. Be upfront about what you are looking for in a long term relationships - chances are that we're open to it. We just need all the facts before we sign on the dotted line. After all, we know that building a life with someone requires a certain amount professional negotiation like anything else.

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