by Samantha Leese

Created on: November 21, 2008   Last Updated: February 06, 2009

The adult dating game is much like a playground. There are rules, players, supporters, and there are referees... usually in the form of friends or ex-girlfriends trying to stop play. So when one considers common problems associated with a contact sport which usually doesn't stop until first blood where do you start?

Who talks first?

My friend and I were at a bar recently filled to the brim with eligible singles. Glorious, sexy, 30ish men. Feasting our eyes on this smorgasbord, we waited for the first tasty morsel to come on over and say hi. What happened next? The unexpected. A late 40's with a paunch bigger than my pregnant cousins, and his comb over friend wandered up and kicked off an incredibly awkward chat where I ended up pretending to be Russian and my friend came across as Transylvanian.

A truly promising evening turned into a difficult and awkward event because fate doesn't care about sexual attraction, and the people who took that ever so scary leap towards rejection were those who just went after what they wanted.

Very few people are capable of out and out rudeness and rejection, and even if you don't strike up a conversation, you discover you should no longer waste your time checking out the unattainable, the impolite, or the downright boring. So be your own cupid and just say hi! Fate's a man anyway.

Dial-a-date

You've exchanged phone numbers. How do you interpret what comes next? This is the tough one because regardless of whether or not he intends to call most say they will. Most women on the other hand, will try and hold off from using said phone number, and employ techniques such as a quick delete, or a series of counselling sessions with their girlfriends reasoning exactly why he should chase. A few tips which may help you:

Firstly, always trust your instincts. If you don't think the date went too well, but he says he'll call anyway that's not an indication to get things back on track during the second date. Tony, 31 said he'd promise a date to a woman even if he wasn't interested because he thinks it's a polite way to end the encounter. I think I speak for women everywhere when I say WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?

Secondly, don't assume that a busy lifestyle could or would get in the way of contact. Mike, 28 says If I'm working 80 hours a week, it's hard not to let it get in the way. But typically I'd still be in touch no later than two days after.'

Thirdly, never be afraid to make the first move. Aaron, 27 says I am scared witless of chasing women, I just

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