giving up. I wanted him to know that I was the most descent and solid person he'd ever meet and that he would never, ever find anyone as loyal and faithful as I was.
I spent the next few weeks in a haze. I was so lonely that I literally withered away. I lost so much weight that I had to spend money I didn't have to buy new clothes that would fit me. I felt helpless. There were times when I wanted nothing more than to go to his work, find that tramp woman and beat the hell out of her. But I couldn't. I could do nothing but eat, sleep, go to work, and return to an empty house. I soon moved out, realizing I couldn't afford the house anymore. Within two months, my life had been completely changed.
Just when I was starting to heal, just when the wounds were starting to scar over, I received an anonymous phone call that opened all the wounds again, poured salt in them, and stabbed me in the heart yet again. She was pregnant. Not only was I heartbroken that he'd decided to be so reckless with sex, I was thinking at that time that the reason we'd never gotten pregnant was obviously all my fault. My body just didn't work like it was supposed to. It was a heavy blow that threw me back down to the bottom.
I did eventually come out of my slump. I began dating again. I eventually got remarried. I began to reshape my life. And a big huge surprise, three months after getting remarried, I found out I was pregnant! Now I have two wonderful little boys, I'm living my dream of being a full time writer and novelist.
But have I gotten over that horrible moment in my life? Gotten over it, yes. Still think about it from time to time? Yes. And when I do think about it, it makes me insecure in this marriage. I no longer think about people close to me as I once did. After being hurt so bad, you just can't go back to that naive version of yourself where you believe people can do no wrong to you. I'm sure on some level, that experience will always affect me in ways that are subtle, in ways that make me sad that I've lost the innocence I used to have before seeing the ugliness in life.
I can't offer tips and suggestions for healing from the heartbreak that occurs when a husband leaves you for another woman. I don't think anything I say can adequately calm and soothe the pain that one feels when it happens to them. But I offer this story to others who have been injured by this type of tragedy to let them know that they are not alone in their grief.
The cliche is very true. It takes time. And even then, the wounds may never go away completely. But it does get easier to deal with, even if you don't fully understand it.
Learn more about this author, Pamela Gifford.
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