by Joshua Mackle

Created on: November 21, 2008

Ain't it funny how think you're gonna be OK,

'Till you remember things are never gonna be the same again...

Sugababes - Change

It took me one second to look at him and feel my heart twitch. One minute of talking to him to feel butterflies. One day in his presence to dream of him when I went to sleep. One week to think that this was something special. One month for me to fall in love.

It took him one moment to destroy me in one simple motion.

Everyone remembers their first 'real' relationship, don't they? That first experience of truly falling in love for the first time, the first text message that gave you goosebumps, the first present you ever received, the first time people commented on what a glow you had.

There's a first time for everything, and that includes the first time you had your heart broken.

The first time you fall in love, it's an amazing new experience that you want to last forever. As time goes by you realize this is 'the real thing' and you finally understand why others gush about love. You spend as much time as you can together, you talk about your thoughts and feelings and do all the silly things that lovers do. But when it ends, it feels like time stands still and you just can't escape from that awful moment when he says 'it's over'.

When I look back, it's funny how everything that's happened to you before just pales into comparison. Nothing really compares to the pain of being hurt in such a way. You can't understand how someone you loved so much could betray you in such a way, whether they dump you for what you see as a pathetic or insignificant reason, whether they cheated on you and destroyed your trust, or whether they decided they'd found someone else better. It's a different situation for everyone. The only thing we all have in common is the heartbreak we endured.

Heartbreak makes you question everything: Why did he leave? Was I ever actually good enough? Could I have done more? Was I too full on? Did I not pay enough attention? The questions are endless and in reality none of them are usually true. We torture ourselves and whip ourselves up into a frenzy of self-loathing, wishing things could change.

Eventually, though, time really does heal everything. It may take a while; for some it's one month, for others it's six, for others it's one year, and for some it's five years, but time slowly begins to mend what was damaged. We don't realize it, but our hearts eventually become whole again and we get back into the motions of life. Soon enough, we can learn to love again, this time having learnt a lesson - nothing's ever guaranteed and love is complicated.

Life was never meant to be easy. It just takes time to realize it.

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