by David Furritus

Created on: November 21, 2008

Not only should steroid use be allowed, it should be MANDATORY in all professional level sports! Think about the fans for a minute. If the folks watching baseball wanted to see a game end 1-0, they'd go watch a soccer game. If a football fan wanted to see a game where the best player ran for only eighty yards, they'd go catch a pee-wee football game that their kids were playing in. If a hockey fan wanted to see a game end in a shoot-out, they would seriously need to seek psychiatric help.

Sure, every sport is about the team, but in this day and age everyone wants to see the achievements of the individual. Just look at the impact that mandatory steroid use could have on each sport:

Baseball
Everyone loves the long ball. Sure, it's great to watch a team string together some singles to get a couple of runs, but nothing beats watching your favorite player hit one long ball after another over the wall to rack up those runs. But, let's not leave out the pitchers. Ninety-Eight miles per hour is passe days. People want to see pitches that are close to the speed of sound. They want to see the catcher actually move back a foot or two after catching that amazing pitch. Let's make it exciting. Plus, think of all of the amazing defensive plays that would be made by some of those juiced-up devils!

Football
Now, here's a sport that could really use it. Quarterbacks that can pass the length of the field from their own end-zone. Running backs that can plow through any defensive back. Receivers jumping eight feet into the air to make amazing catches. Bone-crunching hits that actually crunch bones! It would be a brutal game that everyone would love. Every game would be like watching the gladiatorial games!

Basketball
When a game almost has guarantees of triple-digit scores, you need something to make it more fun to watch. A little magic pill a day for each player could get them running faster, making more amazing shots, doing phenomenal passes. It would be like everyone was Michael Jordan, Wilt Chamberlain, and Shaquil O'Neil combined. Could you imagine how every minute of that game would be exciting as opposed to the last two that we see these days.

Hockey
Now this game is already, fast and furious. The players are out there skating at forty miles an hour, hitting a puck that exceeds 120 on its way to the net only to be deflected by a watchful goalie whose reaction speed is too good. Games often end in low scores and after sixty minutes of play you leave the game feeling cheated. Now, let's take that same game and put it into the hands players that are twice as big, twice as fast, and twice as mean. Not to mention, the wonderful side effect of steroids ("roid rage") would make those fights more fun to watch. Every game would be like a scene from the movie "Slapshot". I'm getting excited thinking about it.

Now, the only disadvantage to all of this is obviously the health risks to the players. But, these guys are getting paid seven (and sometimes eight!) figures a year. They can afford good doctors and lots of physical therapy. So, for the sake of the spirit of the games, they should make the use of steroids something every player should have to start in the off-season and continue until the ends of their careers or lives. Whichever comes first.

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