by Patricia Rainford

Created on: November 20, 2008   Last Updated: July 22, 2011

There are two mistakes parents make when disciplining: one is rather obvious, the other is not. Below, I'll tell you about both types.

The first mistake parents make is caving in to a child's demands. Children have no concept of what's best for them and it's our job as parents to make those decisions for them. But what happens when your child pitches a temper tantrum in the middle of the store because you won't let her have something that she doesn't need or that you can't afford to get her?

It may be unpleasant for you and for those around you, but you must let the child pitch the tantrum. Ignore her, let her get it out of her system. Ignore the looks you'll get from other people. Chances are, if they are a parent, they know what you're going through. Even if they aren't, it's none of their business. If you cave in due to embarrassment, that teaches the child just what she needs to do to get what she wants. You'll be dealing with a mid-store meltdown from that moment on.

This also goes for meltdowns at home, too. Every time you give in to your child's demands, you're teaching her that she can scream, cry, curse, whatever it is she does, to get what she wants. Think you're tire of hearing her scream now? If you cave in, the tantrums will get worse as she struggles to find that particular point that will make you lose your cool and give in to her demands.

This goes hand in hand with the number two mistake that parents make when disciplining their children. Parents mistakenly believe they have no control over their children's actions. This is simply not true. Every parent can conform their child's behavior into acceptable limits. All it takes is firmness, will, and realizing that you are teaching your child valuable life lessons. To allow them to control you is a life long battle that will result in you not feeling like an adequate parent, will result in a feeling of resentment, and can lead to depression and withdrawal. A parent has to be able to stand up for themselves, be able to stand their ground, and not waiver at the first sign of a temper tantrum. Eventually, the tantrums will stop as the child realizes that it is just a waste of energy that's not going to get them what they want.

Children do not know what is best for them. They rely on their parents to guide them, protect them, and teach them. Not caving in and realizing that you do have control will guide them into being productive, well-rounded adults. It will even strengthen your bond with your child.

Learn more about this author, Patricia Rainford.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.