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Anyone can throw money at a problem. Helping another human being presents a much greater challenge. Material gifts can do more harm than good if they do not also confer dignity, hope, and self-respect. Giving out of guilt, or out of the desire to feel important, will undermine relationships rather than build them. If we believe that it is more blessed to give than to receive, we need to allow others the privilege of giving as well.

Giving from a one-down position affirms the recipient. Instead of lording it over a needy person, ask him or her to do you a favour. Bring a tape recorder and offer to pay a street person five dollars in exchange for his or her story. Instead of giving a knitter a bag full of surplus yarn, ask her to make you a sweater, and pay for the materials and labor. Instead of giving the kid next door twenty bucks for a gift for his mother, ask him to earn it by shoveling snow or piling wood.

Sharing skills will build community. If you ask a neighbour to help you make Christmas cookies, perogies or raisin bread, you can pass on the finer points of your techniques, and present your helper with some of the fruit of your labour to take home. If a child's parents cannot afford music lessons, teach what you know, and let them have the use of your instrument. If you volunteer to help a child with a school project for the pure pleasure of it, you can follow up with a home-made snack or a trip to a fast food joint. Even a small kindness may be remembered for a lifetime.

Instead of distributing used clothing to the needy, arrange to give it to a church or other organization for a rummage sale, or stage a yard sale of your own for a good cause. Almost anyone can afford a dollar for a coat or quarter for a baby sleeper. Instead of getting a hand-out, the purchaser has the dignity of helping charity.

If you know someone to whom you would like to provide a personal service such as laundry, help with a shopping trip, or dog walking, you can hire someone reliable who is in need of cash. "I promised to help my aunt with the garden on Tuesday, and I am just snowed under. Could you help me out and take my place? I'd be willing to pay you $30 for your time."

If you are aware of a particular need, consider the possibility of an anonymous gift, either as a "reverse burglary" or through the intermediary of a clergyperson or trusted friend. If the recipient does not feel indebted to a particular person, chances are s/he will begin to see the world as a more caring place, where delightful surprises can happen.

Giving creatively takes more time and effort than writing a cheque. The results may not always be what you hoped for. But, at the end of the day, you will feel enriched, because you have taken the risk of giving a part of yourself along with your gift.

Learn more about this author, Christine G..
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