by Jon Price

Created on: November 19, 2008

Hi. Hi there. Oh, you can't hear me, it's ok. I'm speaking only in my own head. Which is what I do. Often.

And even though you can't hear what I'm sayingI love you. I've fallen in love with you across the aisle of this New York to Boston Express Bus that leaves at 7:00am and arrives in Boston around 11:00am depending on traffic and if the driver needs to make a bathroom or cigarette stop. I love you. Or, at the very least, I've fallen in love with what I imagine you to be in my head.

In my head you are amazing. I already know that you're beautiful, that I can see from here. It's the other things I have to make up. Like, I imagine that you are really into early Smiths, but hate how pretentious Morrissey got especially when he went solo. You also love doing New York Times Crossword puzzles even though you can only finish about a third of it, then you get bored and we make out Sundays are the hardest, but my favorite because we make out all day long. You like pasta and independent film (good independent film, not preachy independent film) and Britpop and cheeseburgers. And you like me. Well, you love me actually, just exactly the same amount that I love you.

Luckily we don't have the same neuroses, or this RPG (that means Role Playing Game) Relationship in my brain would never work out. Thankfully you don't get annoyed when people touch you on the subway or when there are too many people on the New York to Boston Express Bus. If we both were as neurotic as me, then this fake relationship probably wouldn't work out.and I'd probably be the one to end it. It would go something like this:

Me: I think maybe this isn't working.
You: What? Why?
Me: I'm not happy.
You: How long have you not been happy?
Me: A while.
You: Is it because I like the Smiths? Or independent film but not preachy independent film?
Me: No, you're awesome. It's just me.
You: Is it because this whole thing is only in your head and this version of me that you've created isn't even real?
Me: No. Well, maybe. But no.
You: But I don't want to break up, I love you.
Me: I know, but I think it's for the best.

And then we would probably both cry and I'd leave, feeling guilty and ashamed. That's what usually happens with me. But in this RPG Relationship in my brain it happens too. That sort of makes me sad, but it also sort of makes sense.

I think I fall in love with an average of one girl per day. I see them everywhere and we never speak I never speak to anyone that I don't know, really. It's far too terrifying. I see potential

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