by Sarah Fairhurst

Created on: November 19, 2008

Laying there, trying to fight the battle that is insomnia she began thinking. Was it always going to be like this? Will things always be this difficult? Or would something, or rather some one, come along and take her away from it all. Away from the agony she felt now.

Some how that thought seemed nothing more than a dream that will never be fulfilled.

As a small child she was happy. She had everything. A home with her Mother and Father, who at the time seemed to love her very much.

Her earliest memory was when they lived in Scotland. She was too small to remember other places before that, though there were many. While lying in her Thomas the Tank Engine' bed, looking at the alphabet cards stuck round her room, her mum and dad come in to say good night, they hug her and leave. While at the door they stop and kiss, they look so happy. Saying goodnight they turn off the light and shut the door, leaving their three year old little girl alone to dream.

That was the first and last time she ever remembers feeling completely safe and happy. Things went downhill from there.

By the time she was five, going to a pub and watching her parents get drunk every night was common practise. She would sit or stand eating crisps and drinking black current knowing no better and thinking her parents were the greatest in the world.

Her dad worked week days so she would always be awake after he left and asleep before he came home. This made her time with him precious. She became a typical daddies little girl. Until one day he started out as he meant to go on and let his little girl down.

It was her fifth birthday, as it was Friday she was allowed to wait for her dad to come home so she could see him. It got to seven and there was no sign of him, then came eight, still this little girl waited and waited to see her favourite person in the whole world. By nine she was made to go to bed but she wouldn't give in so easily and lay in bed listening for the slightest sound of keys in the door, finally she heard and ran down the stairs, it was one in the morning. In staggered her daddy, shouting at the top of his voice, telling his worthless little girl to get back or there'll be hell to pay. Screaming at his wife to make him tea he went into the kitchen and sat down. She ran up to her room, threw herself on her bed and just cried. She couldn't understand why her daddy had been so horrible, all she wanted to do was see him and hug him.

That Christmas those same parents that one seemed so happy dragged

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