by Elijah Betancourt

Created on: November 19, 2008   Last Updated: January 04, 2010

SPM Seeks SPFI'm an endangered species. I am the Single Professional Male (SPM). My purpose is to find a mate and drop "Single" from my title. I belong to the usual social networking sites where I am encouraged to Pimp My Page and to Import My Contacts. I participate in a gamut of local real-time networks that gather other professionals over drinks and the occasional good cause. I compete with other SPM's in several mate-finding sports, such as Metrosexual Dress Ethics; Income Pole Vaulting, sometimes referred to as Credit Card Long Jumping; and my personal favorite, the Sexathon.

My counterpart, the Single Professional Female (SPF), is both prey and predator. I usually encounter a SPF in one of my social spheres, though sometimes I have the rare run-in with one in an organic setting, such as markets, bookstores, or coffee houses. Despite the romantic possibilities of meeting someone in one's daily life, these places are No Take Zones. Generally neutral areas, it's poor etiquette to hit on a SPF in a NTZ. SPM's have strict schedules and routines that must be abided by in order to maintain one's status as a professional. Otherwise, what are we? Just dating males.
D(u)M's for short. So while obtaining a number or a card in a NTZ may seem like a victory for the SPM, in actuality, he has shown that he's really not as busy as he should be and probably not a good catch for the SPF.

Local bars are another story and must be categorized into two groups: the Meat Market (M&M) and the Posh Pub (PoP). The PoP is where single professionals gather to show that they can have a good time, despite their inherent professionalism. PoP's are where most of the Metrosexual Dress Ethic weaponry comes into play. Jeans and blazers are standard SPM regalia in a PoP, unless you're planning on dancing, in which case you will need a Banana Republic shirt, with at least the top button undone.

Additionally, the right bar must be selected. SPM's generally do not congregate in M&M's, unless they are out for a quick lay. In the rare case that the shag queen is a SPF, then it could make for great romance and a good story to friends.
"Who would have thought I'd fall in love? I was just out to get laid!" But this is a rare case and generally a SPM will have better luck going to a chic wine bar, a local brewing company, or if traveling on business, the hotel lounge. I include the lounge because it has a certain flair to it. "Oh, we met in Boston while we were both traveling on business." Very professional on all counts!

M&M's are generally not good places to seek courtship. For one, there may be some unprofessionals among the group and even worse, married folk. The best way for a SPM to handle this scene is by attending with a small group of other SPM's. A considerate SPM will never bring a SPF to an M&M and if they do: OMG!
For example, say that a SPM has met a SPF in a more suitable and planned social setting, such as Myspace or Green Drinks. He should regulate their date to the PoP. The reason being is that it sounds bad to other SPM's if one is dating a woman that he met in a M&M. Usually, other SPM's scoff and reply, "Why didn't you just sleep with her and leave it at that?" It's hard to reason with that type of logic and best not to try. Of course, if one happens to encounter a Well-Meaning Divorcee at an M&M, then she's fair game for dating because she's probably hot.
Everyone knows that WMD's can be fun.

If all of this is confusing to the uninitiated, just remember to LOL, keep your text thumb handy, your profile current and you'll do just fine as a SPM and hopefully become a PM, who is never alone in the AM. TTFN.

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