by Eric Devine

Created on: November 19, 2008

Are You Going to Eat That?: The Irony of Choice in Our Diet

When I was twelve years old I was diagnosed with Type one. A week after my diagnosis I went to a Middle School dance. There was a limbo contest, and either out of sympathy for me, or by virtue of my dexterous skills, I won, a giant bag of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.

This was my first of what has now become an almost two-decade-long series of awkward encounters with food. There I stood, arm outstretched for my prize, only to let it drop to my side. My teacher saw my action, and in a painfully slow moment of recognition, went wide-eyed and said, "Oh, that's right, you can't have these."

I wish I had a new islet cell for every time I've heard this or some variation on it. It's a terribly unfair situation to be thrust into. Food has such deep social and psychological connotations, that to refuse eating, for whatever reason, has far-reaching implications. For the twelve-year-old it's a terrible social mark of outcast. For adults, it's not so different. Consider the myriad situations in which we are placed that force us to eat what we shouldn't in order to fit in, or avoid the food altogether and create a self-imposed social distancing.

Yet, as adults we entertain this rightful indignation of being able to choose for ourselves, despite good intentions or common sense. No one's going to tell me what I cannot eat! Read: No one is going to tell me who I am! I didn't ask for this disease, so I don't have to follow the rules. Read: This is unfair and I don't have the skills necessary to cope. I think of it as the classic Angel and Devil on our shoulders, the push and pull of our conscience, with the additive of the choice not merely resting on the food item considered. The struggle is born out of a desire to exert power over our own lives.

So much of our independence has been stripped away, but we still have the power of choice, the power to decide what goes into our mouths. Sadly, this decision-making process is often colluded with irony, filled with poor decisions that harm our bodies and only render us weaker for the action. The exertion of willpower is the greatest virtue to harness in this battle, however much we want to give in to temptation, either as a refuge or as a self-defining act.

The choice is always ours. That element will never change. It's how we reason with the challenge that defines us. Like I said to my teacher, "No, I can't, so what else have you got?"

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