by Catherine Morris

Created on: November 19, 2008   Last Updated: January 30, 2011

No matter how long a person has been ill,  the end still comes too soon. It is now rare for a person to die at home but the chance to pass away in one's own bed, away from machines and wires can be the preferred option.

Refusal to go to hospital is a big decision. The doctor has a duty to warn that doing so will most certainly mean that life will not be sustained but once the decision has been made the most likely outcome is known.

Pain control and keeping the patient comfortable are extremely important for the terminally ill person. Being at home affords from official visiting times and hospital routine. Time spent together will be precious and it is good to maintain normality for as long as possible. As days pass, physical deterioration such as greater lapses of consciousness may signal that the end is approaching and the doctor may eventually advise that there will not be much longer left.

Death is a part of life. Much as we do not like to think about it, every living thing has to die sometime. Maintaining a positive mood helps.  During times of consciousness chats will probably continue but sometimes it is just a case of being there without talking, maybe sitting quietly reading a book.

At the final moment, there is a defining time when life ebbs away and the final loss of consciousness ensues. The last breath is gone. This is the saddest of moments and yet it can be bitter sweet if it brings an end to much suffering.

After a few moments, reality begins to sink in and feelings stir. Action is required as iIt becomes necessary to inform those who need to know. The doctor must be called to issue a death certificate. Family members and friends will need to be told. Memories and feelings need to be shared. The undertaker needs to be contacted and preparations for the funeral will be put in motion.

During the days before the ceremony it is wise to allow for reflection, a chance to make sense of what has happened. If you are charged with the responsibility of delivering a eulogy then time will be spent crafting appropriate words. On the actual day there is a chance to celebrate the life that has passed more formally.

As the months and years go on some kind of normality in life will return but can never be the same again. Dreams, photographs and visits to the grave willl keep the memories alive and the honour of being present at the end of your loved one's life will inhabit a special place inside you forever.

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