My father always told me that money cannot buy you happiness. How could that be true? I always thought, you are working 60 hours a week at a job you hate. You are supporting a wife and three kids at home along with your parents across town. The only other thing you do besides work is spend time at home with your family. You never go out with friends or go to social occasions. How can you possibly be happy?
Even though he said he enjoyed his life, for the first 18 years of mine I was under the impression that my father was an unhappy man. I did not want to be like him, I did not want to get married or have kids. I did not want to work in a job field that I hated. I wanted all of my hard earned money to go to me so I could be happy with my personal wealth. I geared my high school studies in that same direction, I came to college with that plan in mind, and I even geared my life in that way. Never had I thought that I could be mistaken, that there is something that I was missing. Some key fact to his life that I did not see. But that fact quickly came in to focus.
In high school I never really had a steady relationship, quite possibly because I never made the time for someone else in my life. Between school, Boy Scouts, and a few extra-curricular activities I had just enough time for my self. By the time orientation came around for college I was entirely focused on one thing and that was my career. I had dreams of money, big houses, nice cars, a steady job, my own restaurant. But all those dreams quickly disappeared when I met her.
Our first date was amazing, we talked about what we wanted to do with our lives, different things about our selves, and we enjoyed each others company. It wasn't until this moment that I realized what my father meant when he said he was happy. Being happy wasn't about having tons of money and being worry free. It was about being around, and spending time with people that you care about. It was about personal sacrifice so others can have a good life as well. This single thought changed everything about me, who I was, what I've done, what I was going to do. It changed me from an introvert to an extrovert only in a few months. Suddenly having wealth and being successful were not important any more. Actually I would say it is no longer relevant in how my life works out. For the first time in my life the only thing I was concerned with was someone else. She was me, she completed who I was, and she made me happy even when I was sad. Never before had I known what this was like, but now I know what it is like to fall head over heels in love.
My life had changed. My friends noticed that I was happier and more enjoyable to talk to. I shared almost everything I had and I was nicer to people; I lent a hand to people who were struggling, donated to charity, and used what I had to make some else's day easier expecting nothing in return.
Spending time with this person was all I wanted to do. Instead of spending the first few weeks of college meeting people I stuck to a small group always centered on this person. A lot of people said I was wasting time hanging out with her, that she was just leading me on. I wouldn't listen, rather I couldn't. I had warped my reality in to what I wanted it to be, not what it was. One night we were sitting talking and I told her that I liked her, and asked if she felt the same way. Unfortunately she just wanted to stay friends. Needless to say I was heartbroken, distraught, emotionally crippled to the point where I didn't want to do anything. A million thoughts ran through my head, not just about what I might have done wrong but what could have been. I was not sure if I still wanted a family, or if I wanted to even try to meet more people. The next day was tough, I was used to meeting her before classes and for lunch. Without that I had to find other things to do, other people to hang out with. I was drained of all my energy, and all afternoon I spent my time in my room listening to music and thinking about random nothings. After about four hours my roommates came back and they had known about my situation. Knowing this they said I should come with them to the mall that afternoon and hangout with them and some friends.
At first I was uncertain, about throwing my self out in to the world again. Luckily my roommates were there for me, we went out with a couple other people I didn't know and before I knew it I had made up for lost time. In a short amount of time I had met numerous amounts of people, I had even gotten 5 phone numbers from some girls at the mall. Even though I know none of them will ever mean as much to me as she did, it doesn't mean I should be afraid to throw my self out there. Life is about taking risks, my father always told me, "If you get out in to the world and do nothing with your life you will never fail, however you will also never succeed."
I know now that there are a lot more "fish in the sea", a lot more opportunities to be happy with my life and I guess, in a sense, I still wouldn't mind being like my father. In his own way he is successful, he has wealth, not in coin and paper, but in love. He has kids and a wife that love him, parents that love him, even friends that love him. Now I don't know what the future holds for me, maybe I will still grow old by my self with just money by my side. However, thanks to my father, I now know that there more opportunities to be happy in this life than just by having wealth.
"Happiness comes from your heart not your wallet"
- Anonymous