by Pandora Parker

Created on: November 19, 2008

Behold The Power Of Cheese

Long-distance call: "What did you do today?"

"Get a load of this, they sent me to the hospital where I fronted the condition of some carbon- monoxide victim who was released an hour later. I went 'live' with a condition. My news director should be stuffed in a trunk tonight."

Midge - my fellow TV-reporter friend currently stationed at a local affiliate in the South. A born-and-bred New Yorker pushed to the edge by lack of good pizza, absence of real men within a five state radius, and currently on hillbilly overload.

"First my news director wanted me to do a breast enhancer series where you take these pills and see if your bra size increases and he wanted me to take the pills. This was for sweeps. I told him Not happening.' Then he wanted me to do an expose` on How fresh is your fish?'" I'm the friggin' investigative reporter, I won a Murrow Award for God's sake. He wants a three-part series on "How fresh is your fish?" I really need to back over him with my car."

"Hmm, what else?" I ask.

"I shot with Johnny Dollar tonight and when we got back to the station we sat around in the newsroom picking out the people who haven't gotten laid properly."

"Johnny Dollar likes you," I say.

"Yes, if I wanted to have sex down here I could with him, but he drinks every night. He's probably laying in the gutter right now."

"When are you coming up?" I ask.

"In three days I'll be in New York," Midge says with relief.

"Want to come to this gala I was invited to at the Pierre? The dinner is a thousand dollars a plate, but we could stop by the cocktail hour," I say.

"Yes, I need some good food."

THE GALA

"Would you look at that enormous wheel of Parmigiano Reggiano, over there?" Midge has found something that excites her.

"These Bellinis are fabulous," So have I.

"I'll go get us a plate of that cheese," Midge says.

"There are a lot of old men here," I answer.

"What about him over there in that crowd? He'd be good for you."

Midge was right, indeed. A very tall, dark and handsome man was standing on the other side of the room, surrounded by a group of men and women. He seemed to be the main attraction.

"Nice tux. He's probably married to one of those women standing near him. He is fine though," I say, watching.

"I need to get some of that cheese," Midge is off, making her way through the diamonds and black ties for some, cheese.

I walk over to the periphery of the room, where there are hundreds of luxury items displayed for the silent auction.

I start reading about an all-expense

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