"Kids these days", a familiar rant you hear from your parents, teachers, your parent's parents, etc., and now with two teenagers in the house, I catch myself saying it too. Are kids different today? The answer is yes and no. It's like asking if we as a society are different since the industrial revolution? Of course they are different, but not because they have somehow chemically evolved into these different beings, but because they are influenced by what is going on in our society. They are a barometer for where we are emotionally as a society. As adults, we live among this too, but have developed the filters that allow us to discern the information. Unfortunately, for many youths, this filter is non-existent.
Technological advancements, the home computer, the Internet, the cell phone, my space, chat rooms, MTV, You Tube, On-Line music, text messaging, Will and Grace, Two and Half Men, Family Guy, South park, Celebrity magazines and the list goes on and on, have all played a part in shaping the attitudes and behaviors of our teens today. It isn't enough to have friends anymore, now they have "friends with benefits", getting together isn't about meeting up with friends and going to the movies, it's about "hooking up". As early as eleven, teens are not only announcing their sexual affiliations, but are doing it publicly on my space accounts, and in chat rooms on the Internet. It isn't enough to be either a heterosexual, or even a homosexual, but being bi-sexual is all the fad. Both the input and output of information is so available and easily assessable that youths become much more aware of everything earlier in their lives. Talking about sex is as common today as it was to mention the weather. And why wouldn't it be, when some the the longest running television programs make references to it all the time.
With the advent of text messaging, and the use of acronyms like "TTYL", "LOL", "LMAO" - youths can communicate all day long with friends and family without ever having to communicate to them directly. Is it a bad thing? No, as long as they can eventually have a meaningful conversation with these people, and they don't forget how to spell words correctly! But, what it does offer for some teens, is an avenue to express themselves in a way that they may not be inclined to do in person, or even on the telephone. More and more teens are using this device as a way to be "wild" and will photograph themselves or parts of themselves with sexually suggestive expressions or positions to forward onto some "love interest". They throw around the "L" word like candy, without any regard for what it really means to "Love" someone. If you've ever watched MTV, ask yourself why you think kids think it's normal to do this?
But, are they different? The only thing that is different about kids today is what they have access to. Their needs, their wants, and motivations are the same as they've always been but, the way they express themselves is different, and they have become victim to what I refer to as "sound bite" expression. It's all about capturing the attention of the readers, listeners, or viewers in 5-10 seconds, it's about shock and great one liners, and it's from these influences that our children learn. In many instances it's very superficial, but if there is enough glitter and shock, you've got their interest. Sex, music, language, all used to create shock. If that isn't enough, get a load of "reality T.V." where promiscuity is just another personal profile characteristic, because it's no big deal!
O.k. while the idea that young teens have sex on the brain and that boys are horny and girls just want to be loved, has not really changed, what has changed however, is how often they are exposed to it. Sex sells! Our society, at least the part of it that markets to our teens, have absolutely no hang ups in using sex to pander to our teenage consumers.. They can do this, because it's no secret what teens are motivated by, so it's no great phenomenon, it's just plain old economics! Teens are not different, they have just become desensitized by the immense amount of information they now have access to.
All this information doesn't have to be negative for them, but in fact an opportunity to develop globally. There are ways for teens to have access and be responsible with the information. It really starts at home, where parents at much earlier ages have to help their child develop the ability to think critically. It starts with something as simple as using the opportunity to teach the child from their own experience with a toy that broke ten minutes after purchase, and how it was nothing like it was in the glitzy commercial. Teach them at an early age to be a smart consumer. The sooner they understand the pitfalls the less likely they are to be taken in. Everything they will be exposed to is about commercialism, and the sooner they understand that it's just that, the better prepared they will be when they become exposed to this broad base of information. Setting limits on computer time, and utilizing all the parent control opportunities you have is another way of limiting the input. But, if kids really want to get access, they will find a way around all your attempts to stop them. Controlling them through fear is fruitless and it doesn't help them at all. Arm them with knowledge and offer them the ability to develop their own minds with proper guidance.
It is the responsibility of all those adults who will, or do play a role in influencing the mind of a child to get on the band wagon of teaching through information and help these kids develop their critical thinking skills early. Many schools approach learning through preaching and lecture, which is fine, but it's not enough. Open communication, and a place for teens to discuss their concerns and questions with responsible mentors is another great way to get the information out. Establishing curriculum in schools that instructs our children to be better consumers would be beneficial. Waiting until students are in college before they take their first marketing, economics or sociology class is careless. Aspects of these subjects should be introduced earlier for better, well-informed young consumers. If we are going to include sex education in our schools, then we should include in that education, the commercialization of sex and how it might influence our thoughts and behaviors. There are so many ways we as the adults, who truly are the ones that can influence these kids can be pro-active and help them establish those filters earlier to prepare them better for the ever changing technology that influences our society.
So, better said would be "Adults these days!" - What are we doing to help our kids adapt and prepare themselves to make the best decisions they can in the face of all this change?