by April Trice

Created on: November 18, 2008

A child's perception is grossly underestimated by most parents. We may think that we're keeping our problems and attitudes in check and under the radar, but we're sadly mistaken. A child doesn't need to hear words or see an action. They perceive by simply feeling. As adults, most of our impressions and feelings are framed by our knowledge. What we know. Things we've read, things we've learned, things we've been taught. A child's mind is far purer than ours, and in that purity they are able to see through our carefully executed smoke screens.

Just watch a child's reaction when they are being disciplined by an angry, stressed out, less than patient parent. Their level of anxiety goes through the roof and their negative behaviour becomes more pronounced. They virtually become a mirror image of their parent's reactions and attitude. Inconsistency is quite possibly Discipline's arch enemy. In being inconsistent with, not only discipline, but also your attitude, you are creating a great deal of confusion in your child's life. If our attitude is all over the map, chances are the child's are going to be as well.

It's no secret that a parent's attitude toward their children is heavily influenced by how they were raised. If a mother was raised by a cold and dismissive mother, then there's a good chance the cycle will continue. We learn what we live and live what we learn. The emotional climate of a household is critical to a child's cognitive and emotional development. It's much bigger than effective discipline. Our attitudes are being instilled into children who will take these attitudes with them into adulthood.

According to a study done by Joan E. Grusec, PhD, with the University of Toronto and Encyclopedia of Early Childhood Development, "A large body of research on attitudes indicates that parental warmth in combination with reasonable level of control or restrictiveness combine to produce positive child outcomes."

Most of us are familiar with the various television shows geared primarily towards parenting the "Wild Child". If you've ever seen the television program, "Supernanny", you've seen a consistent theme in her technique. Episode after episode shows a miraculous transformation from Monster Child to Perfect Angel. It certainly isn't because the "Supernanny" has magic powers of some sort. It was the change in the parent's attitude that made all the difference. Regardless of the child's individual behavioral issue, the parent's ability to maintain control with a positive and calm attitude was key to the success of the program.

For every screaming child, there's bound to be a screaming parent. It's inevitable. But with a positive attitude and a massive sense of humor, the sometimes-overwhelming task of parenting will be a little easier...on you both.

"When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out. " ~ Erma Bombeck

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