by Karla Aguirre

Created on: November 18, 2008   Last Updated: October 30, 2010

Can you buy your children's affection with expensive gifts? Yes, you can but you shouldn't. It is a sadly possible gesture of "parental love". Young children have no concept of money, or what it is to save up, the importance of valuing the dollar. So when they want something, oh, they want it. And they want it NOW. If you do not purchase it for them, they throw a massive tantrum that gets everyone in the entire store thinking you are the worst parent ever. But as they get older, they begin to understand what money is, and how it works. But some still do not understand the importance of the dollar and your unconditional love as a parent. Some grow up with a "if you don't buy this for me, you don't love me!" mentality.

You can try to teach your child that it is not right to give into materialism and the peer pressures of absolutely, positively, "omg-like-I-gotta-have-it-or-like-I'm-gonna-die" urgent needing the latest toy or electronic gadget. And it doesn't help when those gadgets really are "gotta have" items, especially when you're a child at heart, or simply love technology. Today's toys and other electronics can do some very amazing things, which we just didn't have ten years ago.

To an older child's mind: the more expensive, the more you must love them because you're willing to spend more. This is especially true if you like to shower your child with expensive gifts very frequently. The more expensive, the more it can do, and the more "status" your child receives when they show off their new gift to their friends or classmates. If you thought status was only a silly adult thing, you're wrong it applies to children as well. In the strange little world children live in, if one couldn't afford an expensive item it meant they were poor, thus worthless; often times a child fearing they were going to be made fun of by their peers, and sometimes it happened. To a child, it's your job as the parent, to ensure that you provide a way for them to fit in with those around them. Which once again brings up the situation's own "if you don't buy if for me, you don't love me" philosophy.

And they too want in on the fun everyone's having. It's sort of a way of connecting with others, by sharing in the same fun experience as everyone else. With these facts, you know what to expect when your child comes up to you and asks for an item that's beyond your budget, and then offer a less-expensive alternative. It's not a consequence to the child because the cash is coming out of your pocket. But once they are old enough, and begin working for their own money, gradually they will be weaned from it. However, it still won't save you when their birthday or the holidays come up. But thankfully not all children are this way. However, if you are stuck with one of these children, you have my deepest sympathy. Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.

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