by Stocker Wiley

Created on: November 18, 2008

Mrs. Malagnavery

Here was a cranky old croon nose deep in an ancient history book. Her wrinkly skin held up these bulky bug eyed coke bottle frames. Every thirty seconds or so she would peep her head over her book and snear towards our table. "I hate that old cranky Malagnavery," my buddy Ricky would whisper until a loud ssssssh!

She would say in her cranky old voice, " If you boys can't keep quit, I'll have to get security!"

There was always rumors that Mrs. Malagnavery lured children into her house and ate them. I didn't believe that because she was a very frail lady whose bones seemed stiff and brittle. I would imagine anyone feasting on children would have to be very strong not to mention by now the police would have figured it out.

Ricky talked me into following Mrs. Malagnavery home one night from the library to find out were she lived. "Come on, Frank, don't be a sissy. Look we'll see were th old crank lives and we'll egg the place or put some flaming dog poop on her step. Dude, it'll be funny."

Mrs. Malagnavery rode an old pink banana bike with a white whicker basket. She peddled vey slowly which made it easy to tail her. I watched the poor woman struggle from each stride, "Rick, look at her. I think she's going to drop dead."

As Ricky watched her puffs of breaths tire her out, he started salivating like a lion staking out a baby gazelle. The more he thought about harrasing the old woman the more excited he became, "Now I know what those guys from clockwork orange felt like."

I left. I told him I couldn't be part of whatever sick scheme he was thinking up. It was getting late and I would have rather been playing some grand theft auto then hunting down some defenseless old lady. The next day Ricky didn't show up for school. I sent him a text and never got a response. I stopped by the library to drop off an autobiography on Thomas Edison. Mrs. Malagnarvey took the book from me and said, "Thomas Edison was an incredible man. Not only was he smart, but he could really tell a joke." She had a wry smile and some of the wrinkles in her face seemed to have dissapeared. She had next to her the new Rachel Ray cook book. I started thinking about Ricky's where abouts when Malagnavery caught me looking. With a curled lipand and one eye closed pushing outward he big glasses she said, "Boy her recipes are fantastic. Especially when you add some of your own secret ingrediants."

I dropped my book on Thomas Edison and screamed, "You ate my friend you old cooze. I can't believe you devoured the flesh of an innocent young man. I mean, yeah, Ricky can be a pain in the neck, but that doesn't give the right to cook'em up with some five minute nacho dip!"

"I can be a pain in the neck?" Ricky popped out behind the card catalog. Needless to say I got a life time ban from the library.

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