by Bj Watkins

Created on: November 18, 2008

The greatest gift you can give yourself is the permission to feel and the courage to act on it!

I am realizing that I did not believe in myself, but I am starting to. I found myself in a profession that contradicted my beliefs in life's purpose and the connection to spirituality. This job provided me stability, wonderful amenities, a high-end vehicle and loads of money. I wasn't truly happy! The discomfort I felt everyday was actually a gift from a higher power. These feelings were not general disdain for my job, but clues and directions to that "something" I believe in. The idea of loving oneself, the arts and creative expression were more important. The pursuit of Happiness! I have always felt that I was supposed to be doing more than what I was presently doing. I am sure this is something we have all felt at one time.

Despite emotional chaos and poor self-image, I did it. Terrified everyday, I listened to that loud vulnerable dialogue. "It" became increasingly more important and loud. I moved to new York at its most competitive and scary time. I've been working so hard to make everything happen in my chaotic, desperate state. Becoming exhausted, I decided to take a breath and slow down. I started to see that while building myself up, I had been tearing everything down at the same time with my self-doubt and negative thinking. I was doing myself a disservice by driving with my feet on the gas and break at the same time. Each day as I connect to myself, I realize the idea is that focused energy, self-love and the recognition of self-value can achieve any goal.

I've believe that your heart is the voice through which your higher power uses to speak to you. Prior to moving here a friend told me I would experience emotions and thoughts I've never felt before. Another friend told me words that have forever changed the way I feel my heart. "I know you'll be ok because you got your heart going for ya kid!" Your higher power speaks of your strength, intentions, dreams, love, worth and uniqueness there. I recognize that the internal dialogue that helped me take these steps, was taking place here. I strive to sync the dialogue between my mind and my heart!
I challenge you to listen to that "something" deep in your heart and put it into action. I believe there is great success in seeking that vulnerable place where change happens and there is risk of things not working out. Positive energy makes a difference! Working with the universe versus against it creates harmony within the heart!
Positive energy, love and growth...

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