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Gaming has been a part of my life since as far back as I can remember. Picking up a controller, clicking on a mouse, clacking away on a keyboard. I never realized how bad gender bias in the gaming community until I was older and started a character in an MMORPG. From the moment I created a toon I had high hopes for her. Gaining reputation server wide for my PVP skills, hopping into raids now and then to advance in the PVE world, and numerous other goals. I had actually succeeded on most of the challenges I had set out for myself, one including joining a guild which I had figured would help me to meet more members of the community, making it easier on myself for group invites and random player versus player battles in the gaming world. I was looking to make connections basically.

No, by connections I do not mean relationships. I was and still am highly opposed to any advances that were put on my character and by doing that I did get shunned from groups, raids, etc. It was shocking at times how bad the treatment I received was. Was it given from everyone? No. Could I just ignore it and move on? Yes, but then I constantly got accused of being a man. I chose to ignore it and kept chugging along in the guild association I had joined anyhow.

Several months passed and I was still getting annoying messages of how I was faking being a girl. I had joined teamspeak to prove I was indeed a female after having had enough of being pointed at for lying, and everything settled down, but only for a few days. I ended up regretting that move.

When I gave advice it would be looked over, and if a guy gamer (just a guy toon, he did not have to prove he was male) gave his opinion on a gaming situation, even if it was a mirror of what I had just said, they would listen to him. The first time I thought I might have been spammed out of a chat, but it was not the case and the whole deal of it was too much drama and too much of my time wasted. So I slowly dwindled away in the guild until I could easily leave, without bashing anyone or bringing the guild down in any way. It was hard, because there were a few good people amongst the mass of haters, but from there on out I mostly play male characters and I never get asked anymore or poked at.

I can just disappear and surprise them on the rankings, because yes, I can play with the big dogs and it doesn't matter if my gender happens to be female.

Learn more about this author, Donna Fallesen.
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