by Donna Fallesen

Created on: November 17, 2008   Last Updated: January 18, 2009

You have planned the first date with that person you have had your eye on. You are all dressed up and excited, but now you start to worry about how the conversation will go. No one wants to be awkward, no one wants to be boring.

The number one rule is to not stress out too much. It is a first date, and if you don't start acting like yourself from the very beginning you will be sending a fake message of what you are. Just keep it casual. You are not eating with a king or queen, you're merely on a date with your equal, a "friend". Remember to keep the conversation simple, do not get too involved by saying you are looking for a spouse and want this many children by the end of the next year. No one wants to hear that, not only does it sound like you're settling and desperate, it is just plain creepy.

If you are out at a restaurant, you will have an easy conversation about the food you are having. Discuss what you should have, what sounds delicious on the menu, and the entire atmosphere of the restaurant in general. Make smooth transitions into questions to ask your date. How they like their work, if they enjoy their plate of food, what is their favorite music or movie? Allow them to ask you questions in return, do not smother them with invading inquiries. When you are answering, make certain to answer with the complete truth. Any lies you do early in your relationship, if it does happen to take off, will come back later to bite you.

With music and movies out on the conversation table, start chatting about the hobbies you both have. If you share any you can take off on a happy chatter or simply get to know each other better if you don't. Maybe you both like sports, hiking, drawing, etc. You'll find out where your hobbies fit in together, and the more you toss around the conversation lead, the better off you'll be.

Laughter on a first date is important. Whether you both find something funny on the menu, or within the restaurant itself, you can have a good laugh to break the ice. That doesn't mean going off and spouting off cheesy jokes, but if something comes up in the conversation that leads you into a funny memory, go ahead and try it out. You can see if you have the same sense of humor, and that's a plus.

First dates are, afterall, where you get to "test drive" your date. It is not a for sure that you will be together by the end of the date, or even after the dates following. If your convsations lag, or your date seems bored by you, or even if you are bored by your own date, take the sign and start thinking about you'll be talking about on your dates to come.

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