Sometimes, what we say to our kids can really hurt them and undermine their self confidence. So parents have to be smart enough to handle their kids. We all say insensitive things to our children. Persistent pattern of such insensitive things may do lifelong damage. Kids who are chronic targets of insults and criticism grow into adults who tend to resort to the same negative language.

Here are some points to remember for parents.

Firstly, while handling your child you should never act as an 'improver' to him/her. You should appreciate him even on his/her simplest act. Remember when my sister's kid who is five years old learned to tie his shoes, very proudly he showed off his accomplishment to my sister. She replied "great but you should have made sure that you put your shoes on the right feet" that let down the child. When praise is mixed with criticism kids tend to focus on the down side.

Secondly, if your child has done something wrong, it is better to avoid it immediately as you can not change that went wrong but you can put your efforts into discussing your child's feelings and improving his performance.

Thirdly, when we continually deny the feelings of our kids, they think that they should not express their emotions and they start keeping their anger and emotions to themselves. When a child expresses acute disappointment or a negative emotion do not contradict it. Rather, listen to what they have to say and acknowledge their feelings with respect. This way you can help your child to find his/her own solutions.

Fourthly, do not praise a child on everything. Children who receive a steady stream of parental compliments are more likely to experience a big let down when they get into a larger world. Children who are praised a lot by their parents expect a lot of praise from the outside world and get sometimes distorted if they do not get it. Also if they get lot of praise they start thinking that their parents do not understand them. They do not take their parents remarks seriously.

Lastly, you should always emphasize the positive by giving the child a logical reason for acting in a particular way. When you are refusing your child to do certain things, you attach a logical reason for saying "no" to your kid. Straight "no" would hurt the feelings of the child.

A child's future is more in parent's hand. For growing your child into an independent and a successful human you need to put your actions in a right manner so that you become your child's friend rather than an enemy.

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