by Erae Nelsen

Created on: November 17, 2008   Last Updated: January 18, 2009

Doing great on the first date isn't always easy but a good list of topics can help. If there's chemistry you don't want to spoil it by saying the wrong thing, so keep it light and breezy.

FIVE STEP GUIDE TO KEEPING IT LIGHT AND BREEZY:

1) Be yourself. Don't lie on the first date. If this person is a keeper you're going to make a muddy mess of things by pumping up the conversation with unnecessary fibs. If you're not super stoked about your current career, shrug it off, laugh about it. This is a first date, not a life match meeting. If this does end up as the person you're going to marry there will be plenty of time to explain everything later.

Being yourself is going to let them get a good idea of what -they're- in for. You'll put them at ease and make it easier for them to give you a good idea of what -you're- in for. It seems fairly obvious but you'd be surprised at how many urges you might get to make yourself seem more impressive on this first meeting. Don't give in!

2) Hobbies. This is a safe topic and a great way to get to know what you have in common. If you strike up a conversation about literature and it just so happens you're dating a book collector, you'll have plenty to talk about. If you have no hobbies in common don't worry- check to see if they seem interested anyhow. Maybe you can introduce them to the fine art of bird watching and wine tasting.

3) Questions. Have you ever been stuck in an awkward pause and not known where to go? A great way out of this common occurrence is to ask a random question. Remember to keep the question light, like what is your favorite color? It might seem cheesy but you never know where a question like that might lead. You can find out a lot about a person by how they answer your questions, and hopefully you'll get asked a few questions too.

4) Location relevance. If you're at the movies, chat about what your're about to watch or how much you love the popcorn. Keep it positive even if you were the one that picked the location. No one wants to accidentally make a first impression as a negative person. If you're at a coffeeshop, spark up conversation about your surroundings. This is an easy way to keep things light, off of you immediately and still get to know someone by how they react or what they notice.

5) What not to do. Don't bash the gender of your date. Don't talk about what a jerk your ex was. Don't talk about how great your ex was. Don't talk about your ex at all. Do not under any circumstances swing the topic to your life goals. A first date is too early to dig into all of that mess. Your goal on this date is to scrape the surface, save the digging for the next few months.

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