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Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers Remember when you're talkin' to the man upstairs That just because he doesn't answer doesn't mean he don't care Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers
- Garth Brooks, "Unanswered Prayers"

I definitely think that God says no. I've been through many strange and difficult things in my life, and each time I prayed to God that he would not allow them to happen. Of course, they did. When I watched both my Grandmother and then my Mother pass away, I felt so strongly that there wasn't a God. How could I be told no over something so important as these women I loved so much?

I think that life is a test - or an obstacle course we run daily to improve our fitness. From these deaths, I have learned valuable things. I have learned how sacred it is to die and what it means. I am now someone who is interested in helping the dying and grieving. I've walked this path already and because of that, I feel I can help them. I don't know if that was by design, but I feel like it is. How else would there be compassionate people in the world if we did not experience suffering?

In my twenties, I prayed to God that he would send this man or that man into my eager, waiting arms. He never did, and I felt bitter. He said no to me, and I guess a part of me hated him for that. I saw other women with men, with love in their lives, but not me. I felt hideous and cursed - what can I say, it was a melodramatic time.

When I was twenty seven, I met my husband. He is the ideal for me, no mistake. I could not have created a better man with my own two hands. God said no because he was asking me to wait. It's like watching a television program to get to the end - you have to lay the groundwork first. I treasure him now because I know the cost of getting him, and I truly feel blessed to have him in my life.

I also asked many times for things that would end up harming me, no matter how I wanted them. I did ask to die on many occasions and God said no. I asked for riches and power and fame and beauty and God still said no. The unanswered prayers of the song above are the way that we are shaped by God. If all we had to do was pray, life would not be much to induce our fitness mentally or morally. We could not help people if we hadn't been down the road before. However, I believe that God knows our secret hearts. He knows what we want and what we really need. He knows the job we need to do.

The choices that God makes are based on experience that far outstrip our own. What seems like the best for me now may not be the ultimate best for me. When God says no, He's acting in the ultimate best for us. It may lead to suffering, but God only knows the end game. Sometimes no is just a delayed yes.

Learn more about this author, Lynda Lampert.
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