by Peter Bremen

Created on: November 16, 2008

Behold the gamer widow.

Like any other hobby that can consume a person body and soul, roleplaying games are addictive, enabling, and ultimately a trap in which not merely your significant other but your relationship can be swallowed up. Like an emotional Bag of Holding, it is an activity that seems small and easily managed on the outside, but once inside it proves an endless sink for time, money and attention better spent on something real - like you.

Those poor souls addicted to roleplaying games - especially the online version, better known as World of Warcrack, City of Bozos or what have you - are just like any addict. They will do anything in order to get their fix, and you have better believe that includes ignoring you. The fact that this addiction is less "respectable" than alcoholism, gambling or public nosepicking only means that the addict is less likely to admit their problem and accept help.

When was the last time that you looked at your significant other's computer and thought of it resentfully as "the Other Woman"?

It is not enough to understand that gamers have a negative social stereotype. More often than not, it is merely a symptom of a far greater issue: social ineptitude. Why confront the fact that you are short, overweight, have poor grooming and hygiene, and know more about the attributes of your Level 60 Fire Mage than about current world events, when you can immerse yourself in a world where you are strong, attractive, powerful and capable of decimating entire villages full of foul undead? Other gamers, likewise immersed in their SimLife, are undemanding when it comes to social graces they themselves lack, providing no reason for improvement and instead only reinforcing the low bar that gamers set for themselves.

This is not to say that there are no intelligent, attractive, socially skilled gamers. Clearly, there are, and they are the elite among their kind. In the land of the blind, clueless and unhygienic, they are one-eyed, socially-aware and Speed Stick-using demigods. But how likely is it that you'll land one?

Here are some helpful tips when looking at an online dating profile that happens to list the word "gamer" or "roleplaying".

1. Find out if they mean gaming *with people* or online (or worse still, if they are convinced that online gameing IS "with people"). If the latter, run - unless you are actively looking for someone whose idea of a good time is killing electronically-generated boars (bores?) in an online forest. The former might

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