by Disillusioned

Created on: November 16, 2008

I was brought up to believe in love. I had parents who would constantly embarass me, hugging and holding hands just as I turned into a teenager. I remember walking a few feet behind them so as to not be associated with them. They had met when she was seventeen and he was nineteen. They got married when she was nineteen and he was twenty one. They had me five years later. By the time I was fifteen, they were divorced. This shattered my belief in love.

However, they brought me up independent and able to stand on my own two feet. My father always said, this would allow me to marry for love. Every single time i thought of marriage I would again ask him, love or stability. The answer was always love. When I finally met the man i was to marry, I asked him again. I told him the man earned considerably less than I did. I said he married for love and in the end, they got divorced. His answer was simple. That at least, he has known love; true love. It doesn't matter that it ended, but that he had it and I was the product of that love.

So I married for love and it was good for awhile. Then all the bills started coming in. I became the breadwinner of the family. I also was the wife and the mother. It got to be too much for me. Perhaps if there was an equal distribution of all the duties, things would have been easier and no regrets of marrying for love would have crept in. I am still a big believer of love but love does not conquer all. Love does not surpass nor does it shelter you from the realities of life. I am not big on material things. I do not allow money to become an issue in my life. yet it becomes difficult, when your partner is constantly unhappy that there is not enough money. However, the way I look at it is that we have a beautiful home, two luxury cars, our child has everything she wants and we have food in the fridge each month and enough left over to go out when we want. What else is lacking? That he is a man and it hurts his ego that he earns less than me? This has been an issue that we have discussed. There does seem to be some relevance there. Yet, it isn't an issue with me. Until everytime he complains, I end the discussion by telling him not to worry, I have it covered. This becomes an issue. Pent up anger and resentment because I feel that our life is fine as it is. yet, he still finds it lacking.

Of course every girl would like to be pampered, treated with gifts and spoilt. This, I don't have. Yet it was my choice because I decided to marry for love.

I guess this issue is based on how you see things. It depends on how you work it out as a couple. There is no easy way. Having the gifts and pampering and all the money can buy still doesn't guarantee you happiness. However, I have found the hard way that neither does love.

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