by Casey Puckett

Created on: November 16, 2008

To My Sister

As I gaze into the windows of your soul,
It freezes me,
They're cold,
Hard,
And yet there's nothing there,
You've lost the compassion you once had,
Holding on to anger and grief,
Now you put your bitterness on me,
Oh and how it pleases you to do so,
To remind me of my failures and lost dreams,
Over and over again,
Digging into my heart like a blade,
I should just turn my back,

And run,
Run from this neverendong battle,
Yet I stand still,
Not movng from place,
Even when you bring me to the ground,
I stay in one place,
It would make you feel good,
If you ever felt anything at all,
Giving you a sense of control,
Not certain if I'm letting you,
Or if you truly do,
It's been to long to say,
I thought my own blood wouldn't kick me when I'm already down,
Yet you do,
Indeed,
I was wrong,
The things you say,
The pain it brings me,
To know that you do not love me,
That you see my words as nothing,
That you see me as worthless,
Haven't I sacrificed everything,
Doesn't that matter to you,
Everytime I've spoken a kind word,
You've shot it back,
What do you find so offensive,
I try to show you my love,
And I'm used as a target for sheer remarks,
When I try to get in,
You shut your heart away,
Building stone blocks around it,
Is it fear,
Fear that brings out this crulity you point toward me,
Why do you insist on being this way,
You're almost as stubborn as I,
Almost,
The thing that bothers me most,
Knowing that you will continue to push me away,
No matter how hard you push,
I can't move,
There's a beauty in it,
I'm here,
Yoo can say you don't want me here,
You can throw your insults at me with ease,
Everyone of them like a burn,
A burn that doesn't go away,
Yet I'm still here,
You know I have an endurance for this kind of thing,
Why does this frustrate you,
I can't change who I am,
Nor what has happened to us,
The blame should not,
Could not be placed on me,
I'm still here,
You say I've left,
But darling I haven't moved,
What are you afraid of,
I've done all I can to show you,
To show you I care,
Something that won't end,
And yet,
You're blinded,
This bitterness you have is going to suffiocate you,
There is no reason for this madness,
You call me,
Just to make me feel bad,
Stop,
And listen,
Listen to what I have to say,
Please,
If you were silent,
Just for a moment,
You may hear everything I'm trying to say,
This has to disappear,
Vanish from our world,
Why don't you see,
See that I would do anything to show you I care,
It's simple really,
To understand,
I care about you,
My heart is still beating,
The cold blades you stab into it haven't ended me,
Not yet,
And never will,
I'm stronger than that,
Standing here,
I won't evade from this torment,
Sometimes I feel it'd be best,
But I could never,
Too far in,
It hurts,
But I'm strong,
So much stronger than you'll ever know,
There's a lot you don't know,
The mystery has been a cause of your own doing,
You close yourself off,
You attack,
My own sister,
Where did this war begin,
When,
When did you decide I was the enemy,
I've been your ally all along,
And I still am,
Just waiting for the walls to tumble,
For you to set down your knives,
And give me the chance to show you,
Nomatter what you say,
What you do,
How you treat me,
I'm still here for you,
My love can't be compromised,
There's still a pride in me to say that you are my blood,
That even through this mess called life,
Nothing could change that,
Yet you're not listening,
My words seem to make no sound,
What must I do,
To prove this,
You can't change that I'm your sister,
You say I'm no longer am,
But you can't change the fact,
The fact that you were born into the same family as I,
If nothing more
Admit that,
Don't leave me without that,
Plead I may,
If only you could feel as I do,
I pray one day you shall,
And still
Remeber,
I have not moved

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