by Robin Tidwell

Created on: November 16, 2008   Last Updated: January 02, 2009

Teaching responsibility to any child is an on-going process. "Responsibility" simply means that one is depended upon to perform a chore or a job or a duty, and that one is held accountable for the outcome.

Children learn by seeing, doing, hearing, and imitating, as well as by more formal methods. This begins from birth, when a child is learning about himself, and progresses through the toddler years when a child begins to realize the place of self in the larger context of his family.

Even babies who have not yet begun to walk can observe a parent placing toys in a basket after playtime, and often will imitate what they see by "helping"; of course, this "helping" can involve removing the toys as well!

Once a toddler has developed confidence in walking and frequently begins to carry objects while doing so, he can be taught to do many things. The earlier a parent begins this process, the easier it will be and the more habit-forming it will become. Things to keep in mind are that toddlers will need reminding when it's time to do a chore and supervision during the work itself; in fact, kids of all ages will require these two things and not until they've moved out on their own will they actually (hopefully) take full responsibility for daily chores and jobs. The key is that toddlers really, truly love to help, and if a parent begins when the child is young, the chores become habit and much more hassle-free throughout the years.

The list of what small children can accomplish is long: placing spoons and napkins on the table, picking up trash from the floor, putting their shoes in the closet, brushing the dog. They may not do any of these things well, from an adult's standpoint, but they can do them. The more frequently this occurs, the better they will become at various tasks.

Three-year-olds are quite capable of being taught to fold their own clothes and make their own beds. They can clear most items from the dinner table. They can pick up their own toys, and they are able to help with less-dangerous kitchen and cooking duties and even wash dishes. They can rake leaves, or help paint a wall.

Children should be allowed to have fun and be "kids", yes, but they should also be expected to contribute to the household in which they live. The bonus is that most of the time, most children think that these things ARE fun!

How does this relate to responsibility? The answer is twofold: accountability and praise. Accountability stems from allowing the toddler to actually do the job,

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