by Jim Bessey

Created on: November 16, 2008

Bacteria rule the world. No matter where you go or what you're doing, you cannot escape them. Nor would you want to. They're inside you, on every surface you touch, in the air you breath, and an integral part of every living thing around you. Without bacteria, life as we know it would cease to exist.

We live in a germ-phobic society, constantly hounded by messages about products that will protect us from all those icky, evil germs. We are warned that we must do our best to remove 99% of the microscopic life in our lives. Wash your hands until they are sterile. Wipe those counter-tops! Scour your toilet! Spray our product in the air in your home, and all those horrid invisible creatures will be annihilated. Baloney.

Do you know where some of the most dangerous bacteria in the world live? Hospitals, those palaces of sterility. Think about it. If you keep killing 99% of the bacteria around you, over and over, those who finally survive the devastation are the strongest creatures ever created. You don't EVER want to get infected by a microbe left alive after countless cleanings.

Learn to love bacteria and you will sleep better at night. Sure they're in your pillow. You put them there, silly. (Well, perhaps your dog put them there, but you really shouldn't let her use your pillow, should you?) To help you appreciate the planet's tiniest creatures, here are some fun facts about bacteria.

Live long and prosper:

Bacteria have flourished on earth for over three billion years. They were here first, long before any of those adorable reptiles. We humans didn't learn about them until the late 17th century, however. You may not have heard of the Dutch scientist Antonie van Leeuwenhoak, who saw these "animacules" first, while squinting at some samples in the recently-invented microscope. He was looking at scrapings from inside the human mouth. At least six different types live in your mouth, despite your attempts to destroy them. Without them, you would die.

Go forth and multiply:

They're prolific, too. Here's a population count that's beyond our comprehension: bacteria and their relatives, the archaea, number at least five billion trillion trillion. If you could stop time long enough to line them all up nose to tail in a straight line, they'd stretch from here to the edge of the known universe (about ten billion light-years away). No other life-form on earth comes even close in second place.

One species (ocean-dweller Pseudomonas natriegens) can reach bacteria puberty about ten minutes

• 1
• 2
• Next Page >>