by Pierrette Komarek

Created on: November 16, 2008   Last Updated: January 03, 2009

I think I am more then qualified to answer this, for I raised a large family of six children, using almost exactly the same style my parents did! With a few exceptions, since I was raised in Algeria, North Africa and the life style there was certainly different; To add to this both my parents had been orphaned early on in their lives, and thus having had no guidance themselves they "Played it by ear" as far as raising my siblings and I were concerned!

Do I look back and see things they could have done differently or better? of course I do! Just as I look back and see the mistakes I did when raising my own children..in fact I wrote some of it down in my memoir: "Le Cafe' de Cadix"...where I recalled that I started to work in my parents Cafe' (thus the title of the book) at the age of twelve. This seven days a week -12 hours aday, for they never closed...only to go to sleep, thank God!

Strangely even now looking back, I do not resent this strange upbringing, for it made me appreciate what hard work was all about, and that no matter what would befall me thereafter , and often did, I would always be up to the task. I also learned many other attributes from them, such as tolerance of other people and religions, for in our mixed neighborhood, we lived with Arabs, Jews and mixed French of latin origins; And although Anti semitism was rampant even then, my parents made sure that everyone in their bar was treated equally, and I never heard them say a cross word against anyone.

I was therefore very surprised, when coming to America as a young war bride in 1945, to see some of my neighbors who descriminated against other religions especially Catholics or even worse Black people. So right thenI determined that I would raise my children as I had been raised and without prejudices, i must have succeded in this for although a Catholic my self, today they all have married into other faiths including Judaism, and this with mine and my late husband blessings!

I also raised them with tough love, just as I was, never letting them get away with anything, as some parents are won't to do when overlooking and closing their eyes to their kids faults with the " Not my Johnny" then some of them wonder why their kids get in troubles later on in life...for as we all know, the outside world will not coddle them as they had been at home, and the sooner you prepare them for that, the better they will appreciate you later on.

And today just as its said - that the proof is in the pudding, I have a large family of fifteen grandchildren and five great grand ones, all behaving pretty much in the same polite affectionate manner; and even though some of them are separated by long distances, they all act and behave in the same ways when we get together; Thus attesting to the fact that the upbringing I gave my kids, was passed on to theirs and so on...What nicer compliment could a parent want? We all have the children we deserve, trust me, we really do!

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