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When it comes to understanding and reasoning with a smoker it really depends on what you hope to achieve when choosing the best route to reach your goal. It could be that you care for the smoker and want to get across to them the health risks that come from smoking. Or it could be that you spend a considerable time in the presence of a smoker and need to get them to be more considerate for the sake of your own health by not smoking right next to you all of the time.

In the first scenario, where you would dearly love the smoker to cut down or stop smoking for their own benefit, you should know that taking the heavy handed approach and preaching to the smoker will probably take you in the opposite direction to that which you want to go. This is because many smokers feel defensive about the possibility of having what they see as their freedom and right to smoke taken away.

When a smoker digs in their heels and refuses to change their ways it is often because they just don't like being judged and told what to do. Who does? It isn't the job of the non-smoker to make such decisions for another individual or to lay down the law. However, if you understand about how smoking can damage your loved ones health then you will surely want to find away to get them to take your concerns seriously.

To let the smoker involved know how you feel it is a good idea to try not to come across as being bossy. Begin by telling them how you understand that it is their right to decide for themselves whether they wish to smoke or not. This shows them that you are not attempting to ambush their freedom.

Next, you could tell them how worried you are. Let them know how their smoking affects you emotionally and how upsetting it is for you to witness them constantly putting themselves at risk.

Also telling them that you hope that they take what you have said as seriously as you take your feelings and concerns for them into consideration should at least set the ball rolling and make them realise that you deeply care and are genuinely worried about them.

In the second scenario, where a smoker may not be concerned as to how their smoke is affecting you, a more practical approach is needed. In this case you need to stand up for your own right to breath air that isnt tainted with their smoke. Not all smokers are inconsiderate in this way, and some just need a nudge in the right direction.

Some smokers will immediately begin smoking away from you or at different times than when with you when you mention that its a problem for you. However, occasionally a person who is a little more insensitive will come along and they will need your concerns spelled out to them.

If this happens then start, as in the first scenario, by telling them that you respect their freedom and right to smoke. But then remind them that you also have the freedom and right not to smoke and that they need to respect you. This forthright, but polite, response to their lack of consideration should make them realise that they need to change their ways when they are around you, and hopefully you can look forward to the return of clean air.

Learn more about this author, Bridget Webber.
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