DETERMINATION, DRIVE, AND DISCIPLINE: THE MAKING OF AN ORGANIZATION JUNKIE
So you're tired of clutter and chaos? Are you ready for the challenge of learning how to organize?
Great organizers are made, not born. No matter how messy, disorganized, and out-of-control your life is, you can learn new behavior. If you find this excruciatingly difficult and discouraging, you're a normal human being who never learned how to clean up his or her act. If you discover that you are equipped with an Inner Organizer who believes in 'a place for everything and everything in its place', chances are that you have been influenced by a Power Organizer. Send this person a thank you note. Chances are that you underappreciated this neatnik mentor in the past.
1. SET PRIORITIES. If you try to do everything at once, you will fail. Write down all the areas where you long to draw order out of chaos, pick out the one which is the most important to you, and focus your energy there. Do you have too much stuff for your space? Are you unable to find things when you need them? Do you lose track of the plans of other family members? Is it impossible to find time for yourself? Are mealtimes chaotic? Pinpoint where Operation Organization will begin.
2. HAVE A PLAN. It's not enough to say, "We've got to have more communication around here." Get a monthly or weekly planner, put it in a prominent place, and introduce the concept to your family members. "From now on, any event that is not on this planner does not exist, and no one in the family will be expected to make allowances for it. In case of conflicting events, the one that was on the planner first will get priority, unless it is clearly something non-negotiable, like an emergency medical appointment." Then be prepared to enforce it.
3. START SMALL. Tackling something like getting the dishes washed after each meal, or the laundry put away in a timely fashion, will have a high probability of success, and give you confidence to take on a bigger challenge. Easy does it. Let each new habit get firmly established before trying to make another change.
4. GET THE REST OF THE TEAM ON BOARD. Like it or not, you can't do this alone. If you try, you will feel like Cinderella, and give up in disgust. All the people who share your space and your schedule are members of the team. You will need to sell the concept to them, and persuade them to take joint ownership. Explain the benefits of organization, as well as the consequences of non-participation. If you haven't given any thought to consequences, re-visit items #1 and #2, and talk to someone who has been successful in getting and keeping the team on track. Delegate wherever you can, and make use of the natural organizational and leadership abilities of others.
5. OFFER INCENTIVES. When my son was five, he would return from kindergarten promptly and start dusting the living room. He loved to watch Spiderman, and the TV could not be turned on until he had finished that job to my satisfaction. He took pride in his work, but at that age, he needed something more to encourage him to do it. Spidey provided the motivation he needed, as well as a deadline for finishing.
6. ENFORCE ACCOUNTABILITY. If family members have agreed not to leave personal possessions in the living room, and then "forget", confiscate said items and make it increasingly inconvenient for them to get them back. You may need to appoint someone to police your habits as well. Kids love that job.
7. RESPECT YOUR TEAM MEMBERS. Don't dump unscheduled chores on them. Their free time is just as valuable as yours. If you want help cleaning the garage, offer a contract with special rewards. That could be cold hard cash, exemption from regular chores, additional privileges, a special treat, or any combination of the above. If there are no takers, hire an outsider to help, or do it yourself and treat yourself to an appropriate reward.
8. ENLIST OUTSIDE HELP. A cleaning lady, even if only once a month, will do wonders for motivating a tidy-up binge. A professional organizer/declutterer's advice will be valued and followed because it cost money. Counselling may help resolve emotional issues surrounding organization, family conflicts, assertiveness, and self-discipline. Any outsider with expertise will introduce additional accountability. Talk to others with organization issues, and get inspiration from books and blogs such as http://orgjunkie.com/
9. STICK TO YOUR GUNS. Do not accept IOUs. Do not cover for someone else's sloppiness. Be consistent with consequences. If your daughter is supposed to clean her room before she goes out on Saturday, and she is going to a party on Friday night and has arranged a biking date for 8AM the next morning, that problem is hers to solve. Doing the cleaning later, after she has done everything she wants to do, is not an option.
10. GET A HARD HAT. Expect a lot of whining and complaining about the Neatness Nazi Demon who has taken over your body. Nobody enjoys discipline, responsibility, and extra work, especially at first. In time, others will learn to appreciate the results, but decades may pass before you are thanked for your efforts.