by Karen Carl

Created on: November 14, 2008

www.BondingWithTeens

As the mother of two teens, I know that this can be the most difficult thing I do all day, and it is important that it be done everyday. Kids need to know that you are there for them and you need to know that you have connected with your children. In this day and age, there are too many disconnected teenagers. If your child does not feel connected to you and your family, he or she may feel the need to get that connection somewhere else. This can lead to a myriad of dangerous situations that no parent ever wants to think about. This is why bonding is so important.

Bonding can take many forms. With my kids it seems that our daily form of bonding is our sense of humor. We have the same twisted sense of humor; we just "get" each other! If I am watching an old Abbott and Costello movie I think they will like, I let them know. There are some movies we can quote back and forth to each other. If I make a quick comment to one of them about something, we are usually connected enough for them to pick up on it and throw one back at me. This often leaves their father very confused!

There are times when you bond as a family, and then times you need to bond as individuals. My husband takes our children fishing to bond together, but individually he takes our son hunting and our daughter shopping. They have had these "Daddy Days" since they were very small and they always come home feeling very special. The kids love to go on the fishing trips, but the time alone with their father is the real treat. He could really just drive around all day and it wouldn't matter. They just feel special spending time with him.

With me it has always been reading. We read together; we have read all of the Harry Potter and Lemony Snickett books aloud together. We also watch old movies together. For me there is nothing better than to cuddle up on my bed with both my babies (and the dogs) and watch Arsenic and Old Lace, or another old movie, on a rainy October afternoon. Individually my son and I spend time cooking and my daughter and I sit and chat while we crochet.

Sense of humor, old movies, fishing, hunting, shopping, reading, cooking, crochet, there is an endless list of activities to choose from when bonding with your teen, but the most important one is just spending time with them. Listen to them, have fun with them, let them know you are there for them. Give them guidance and boundaries, and most of all love. The more time you spend together, the closer you will get.

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