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show the proper respect to his military hero dad instead of smoking drugs and being a homosexual. We need to get back to good old conservative values, don't you know. That's what this is all about. Except Danno doesn't believe the son and the victim were sleeping together. Danno thinks if the victim was having under-age sex with anybody, it was the cheerleader. She's the kind of precocious kid older men stare at lustily. Maybe we should speak to her parents about what she's doing here. What nonsense. The marine knows what he saw. Danno says the son has lots of video equipment and we should check it all out really closely to make sure we understand what we're looking at. I'll let him do that because I can't be bothered right now. And besides, the kid's got vials of urine in his fridge. Yuck. Danno must be good for something. I'm going to arrest the wife.

First lets talk to the cheerleader, because she's hot. Where would America be without cheerleaders? She says she tried to seduce the victim, but it was her fault, and he was really nice to her when she told him she was a still a virgin, so they just talked, and listened to a cover-version of Don't Let It Bring You Down, by Neil Young, sung by Annie Lennox, and he wanted to know how his daughter was feeling, because they had grown apart. Danno thinks this is an honest story, but I say these suburbanites are goddamn creepy. Where would America be without creepy suburbanites?

Now the wife is saying her husband quit his job as an advertising writer and blackmailed his boss for a lot of money and used it to buy a vintage sports car. Then he went to work at a fast-food drive-through, because that's what he did the summer they first met after high-school, and they were happy then, and he just partied and got laid and she faked seizures at frat parties and flashed helicopters on rooftops. And they were happy then. But now she's an uptight real estate agent who can't sell a house and this afternoon her husband busted her for having an affair with another realtor, so she went to the shooting-range to let off steam and has been going demented listening to self-help tapes. Where would America be without estate agents? This all goes towards establishing motive and opportunity in my professional opinion.

Danno says if this was a movie, which it isn't goddamn it, because this is a murder investigation, and a closed one at that, but if this were a movie, then it wouldn't be a David Lynch film about creepy surreal suburbanites,

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