by Leslie Keck

Created on: November 14, 2008

Relationships...

I grew up in a family where my father was an alcoholic, the alcohol always came first and it didn't matter to him what us kids wanted or what we said.

I grew up watching my mom get beat up by my father every time he was in off the road. I remember the fear I felt every time I knew he was coming home. It came to be expected that he would be drunk and mom was going to get hit. Sometimes it would be directed towards us kids. He would threaten that he was going to have CFS come and take us away or he was going to take us on the road with him and my mom would never see us again, and he always had a girlfriend on the side.

My mom finally got the courage to leave him, deciding that putting her own life in danger was not worth staying with him, and raising four kids on her own would be better than us growing up in that situation. I'm sure had she stayed, she wouldn't be with us today.

As I grew into adulthood, I found myself in similar situations. First in a marriage that turned abusive shortly after the wedding. Needless to say I filed for divorce 6 months after I had gotten married. The next couple of relationships I was in also turned abusive, I was out. I knew what it was like to live like that from living with my mom and my father and I wanted no part of it. Situations like that only get worse if you stay, and nobody deserves to be used as a punching bag.

My worst nightmare has now come true. My 19 year old daughter is now in an abusive relationship. My heart ripped from my chest when I heard he was putting his hands on her, and to add to it she has a beautiful 1 year old son that is added to this situation.

I feel so helpless because even after everything that he has done to her she is still standing up for him. She feels it is her fault, if she would just keep her mouth shut he wouldn't have reason to hit her. I have told her otherwise but I feel she just doesn't want to blame him for anything. The anger I feel towards him is overwhelming.

I have them living with me for now, but I can tell by the way she is talking, they will be back together, and her being an adult there's not much I can do, it is breaking my heart because the one thing I wanted for my only daughter is for her not to be in an abusive relationship, and that is exactly where she is.

I watched my mom go through it and I went through it and now my daughter. I wonder sometimes if the cycle will ever end.

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