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Video games are enjoyable, giving people a break from the daily grind of reality. Whether it's battling ogres in a massive online world or playing a simple platform game, jumping and dodging obstacles, there's a video game to feed every appetite. But of course, too much of a good thing can lead to problems in one's life. Moderation is the key and there are some telltale signs that will tell you that you need to drop that controller and move away from the television:

1) No can tell where you or the couch begin or end. Your faithful pooch Rover continues to try and lay on you instead of next to you.

2) When Princess Peach kisses Mario you get insanely jealous and call your best friend ranting and raving demanding to know why he didn't tell you about the affair. You threaten to team up with Bowser to bring some really good whoopass to that sneaky little Italian plumber.

3) You want to be like Sonic and try to outrun freeway traffic during 5PM rush hour. You mistake the whirling sound of the traffic copter above as Tails.

4) You wake up in terror in the middle of the night and call information asking the phone number for the nearest Belmont because you're convinced Dracula is outside your bedroom window.

5) The mold on your food have given them life and they escape your fridge and out the front door screaming, "Freedom! Horrible, horrible freedom!" You just sit in the living room, too busy with buying property in Fable II to chase down your groceries.

6) You think Rover needs a companion and head to the pet store to looking for a nice Pickachu or Squirtle. When you look around and see you're in an aquarium store you reproach yourself for being so stupid and ask the clerk for a Magikarp.

7) Your Playstation 3, Xbox 360, and Nintendo Wii are your darling children and named beneficiaries in your will.

8) You legally change your name to Master Chief.

9) You'd rather get 'amorous' with an avatar on Second Life than your real life girlfriend, or boyfriend. At least the avatar can fly.

10) You justify a promotion at work by telling your boss you have the triforce of power and are pretty sure you can get wisdom to cement the deal.

11) You sleep in bed clutching a game controller in each hand.

If you exhibit any of these or any other silly symptoms, run to the nearest psychiatric ward and commit yourself. A few weeks of relaxation in a nice padded room will dissipate those video game delusions.

Learn more about this author, Robert Stadnik.
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