I woke up at around one o'clock in the afternoon that day, the day my wife May gave me the wonderful news.
"Hey baby get up, my parents are coming over for dinner tonight", May's tone of voice seemed upbeat as she closed the front door.
"Geez, I know it's October but 45 degrees so soon?"
May crossed her arms and hugged herself tightly.
"They'll be here at about 6pm today. "
I mean yeah, they were her parents, but they had nothing in common with her. May was an only child so it's not as if any anger her parents took out on her was divided between other siblings first. They fought over little things when we both lived with them a few years back. That's pretty common in that particular type of living scenario, but when a fight took place between May and her parents sparks flew. May was such a hot head and her parents were right behind her.
When they fought it was like "The Clash of the Titans". It was amazing and frightening at the same time. They would all scream at the top of their lungs at each other and it wasn't uncommon for things to be thrown around either. In the end May would say something hurtful to her mother Annabelle, and Annabelle would leave the room in a fit of tears. Then her father Hank would say something to make her feel guilty.
"How can you be so cruel toward your own mother?" he would say.
Then he would follow-up with an insult directed at me.
"Don't take Daniel's shortcomings out on us! We knew you couldn't handle marriage so soon, and Daniel? What were you thinking?"
Their arguments never took place too far from me. It was as if they intentionally did so in order to inform me of their disapproval of our marriage without being so direct. The funny thing is they would always have May bring me into a room where they were all waiting for a family meeting afterwards, and Hank and Annabelle would tell me I was like their own son.
Hank would always have a concerned look on his face when he told me of his love for me, and Annabelle would be right behind him nodding reassuringly while she rubbed my shoulders to comfort me. It always humored me when it happened because whenever they were around to hear May and I argue they would always mention her as their daughter instead of by her name.
I mean c'mon, if you were to attempt breaking up an argument between your daughter and your son would you mention only one of them as your child while mentioning the other by their name, or would you mention both of them as your children or by their names? I think the answer is little obvious. I mean yeah, I'm not their blood so I expect it to be like that, but they are so sincere with their claims of me being their son.
The thing that annoyed me the most about Annabelle was her criticism toward my cooking. When I say criticism I don't mean positive criticism, I mean just plain criticism. It's almost as if she enjoys criticizing my abilities and my creations. Anything and everything I made always had some type of problem with it.
"Needs more salt," she would say, or "Don't you think this is a little overcooked?"
I never responded harshly when she said things like that because not only did I want to avoid upsetting May or causing a scene, but I also knew the quality of her food wasn't anywhere near that of my own. Hank was even worse then Annabelle. Whenever May and I were in Hank's and Annabelle's presence Hank would wait for Annabelle and May to leave the room. As soon as they would leave the room Hank would sit down right next to me and indirectly criticize my career.
"So how are things at the restaurant? Any chance you'll get that position as the head chef?" he would say.
"You've been there for a pretty long time haven't you? You still haven't received a promotion after all that hard work? That's a shame."
I kept telling myself that it wouldn't surprise me if he one day broke out laughing during one of his criticism sessions. Whenever I imagined it he was always looking me right in the eyes with his own eyes wide open while laughing hysterically. Hank was a police captain and he definitely made sure everyone was aware of that. He would even wear his uniform when he was off duty as if he was bragging about his position as a captain in the force.
After all the negative thinking I massaged my own head to relieve the stress before pondering the preparation of the dinner that was to be held at our home that night. I figured I'd make something delicious and complicated in order to prove the level of my cooking skills to Annabelle. Since it was cold that day I decided to prepare rosemary chicken for the entre and baked potato soup for the appetizer. By the time I finally started preparing the meal it was already 5 o'clock in the afternoon. May came into the kitchen an hour later to inform me of her parent's arrival.
"They're here Danny. Is everything ready?" she said.
You could tell she was both excited and frustrated by the quiver in her voice and the tone of it. She knew what would take place that night. She knew I would sit silently as Annabelle mentioned only what my meal lacked rather then the positive things about it, and she knew Hank would make indirect comments about my lack of career success and its effect on my life. May didn't like confrontation that involved us both, and I had too much respect for her to respond to the negativity of her parents. Besides, I didn't want to cause a scene and ruin the night.
"Yeah, everything is in order honey. I'm sure they'll love it, especially Annabelle," I said as I tried to wipe the smirk of my face.
Hank an Annabelle knocked on the door shortly after I finished setting up the dinner table.
"May I take your coat mom?" May said after she hugged Annabelle as any daughter would hug her mother.
"Thank you honey, we're so excited to see you!" Annabelle said as she handed May her coat and smiled.
"May I take your coat dad?" May said as Hank stepped through the door.
"Thank you my dear", said Hank as he handed May his coat.
May knew she would see Hank's shiny badge as soon as he removed his coat. Hank smirked at me as he headed toward the dinner table to let me know the dinner wasn't going to be any different from the past dinners that took place. After I finished serving everyone Annabelle began picking at her food as an indication of her dislike for it. Hank finished his plate quickly and made sure to comment positively on the quality of the meal, but he would always do that before insulting me.
"This is excellent Danny! You never cease to amaze me," Hank said while displaying a sly grin.
Annabelle sat her fork and knife down on the entre plate she hadn't touched and pushed her half eaten cup sized soup bowl to the side before commenting on the quality of the meal.
"Oh Daniel this chicken is delicious.., but I think it needs just a little more rosemary. Also, the soup is a little too thick, but it's still wonderful honey," Annabelle said with a fake welcoming smile on her face.
Before I could even respond May slammed her fists on the table and looked Annabelle dead in the eyes. The force of her fists was so great Annabelle's bowl of soup tipped over onto her dress.
"May! I just bought this dress! Are you crazy?!" Annabelle said as she stood up with a slightly frightened look on her face.
"Don't worry mom, it's an ugly dress anyway and don't you think you're a little too old for something like that? Your 44, but you've got the body of a 54 year old, and an orange dress? What, did dad dress you today?" May said as she surprised us all.
"Mom, why did you decide to have only 1 child? You're a homemaker and when I was little you would always watch soap operas instead of spending time with me. I remember coming home from school to a empty refrigerator time after time because you always forgot to buy groceries. I remember going to school while on my period without tampons because you never bought them for me even after I reminded you verbally and with paper notes on a daily basis to help you remember. Some mother you've been."
May was on a roll and boy was it a sight to see. Annabelle was speechless, and sat back down and stared at the table.
"Dad, why do you insult Daniel every time we see you? He's only 25 and he'll get promoted soon enough. You've been a police officer for 25 years and you're only a captain? The Chief of Police is 45 and you're 50. Maybe you should concentrate on your own career before you insult someone else's."
May didn't even look nervous when she spoke as if she had been prepared and saw the perfect opportunity to strike. May's words struck Hank before he even got an insult out. Hank sat silently in awe as Annabelle did.
"I think Daniel and I are going to head out to a movie. When we get back I'd appreciate it if you two were gone."
May grabbed my hand and led me out of the house before we could even see the expressions on their faces.
As we walked toward the car May stopped me and gave me a soft kiss on the lips.
"I love you Daniel, and don't you think I would give that up over my parent's ignorance."
May's words comforted me. It was hard to believe dinner with her parents would turn out this well.