by Travis Montera

Created on: November 12, 2008   Last Updated: November 21, 2008

It is after midnight and you enter your car with a slight case of giddiness. Looking out the window you give a calm, but confident wave to the woman you just enjoyed hours with over dinner and coffee. Appearing in control, you drive away. However, inside you cannot wait to see her again. The best part is she too wants to see you again. The drive home ultimately becomes a strategizing session for the second date.

A first date is stressful, but you usually go into it not expecting much. The second date is taking place because there was a connection . This is where you both really get to know each other. Don't fear this, embrace it. Let the date be something that exudes who you are.

In essence, don't approach the second date on impressing. Follow these simple guidelines when planning:

1) BE YOURSELF: If you are not into plays or operas don't take her to one. Now you are setting expectations that this is who you are. You could make your second date the most incredible experience in the world, but if it is not you then you are setting the stage for a relationship collapse later. I am not saying to be boring, but be real. Keep the date down to earth.

2) REFLECT: You just spent several hours with her, I sure hope you listened to her. Refresh your memory on things she said she enjoyed. Don't automatically direct your attention on the hobbies she mentioned. Consider the everyday norms she discussed. All her friends know what she loves in life, but the fact that you remembered some quirky thing she enjoys doing illustrates you listen to her.

3) CONNECT: Understand you have only spent a few hours with this woman, you don't know everything about each other. Make the second date an experience or place where you can continue to build your connection. In other words, NO Movies or Shows. You can make a second date something as simple as meeting for coffee on a sunday afternoon to talk a little more.

4) NO GIFTS: Gifts, after only one date, make many women uncomfortable. If you feel the urge you may present her with a single rose or flower she may have mentioned she is fond of. However, a simple compliment goes a long way. Nothing over the top. Telling her she looks great is sufficient, but you can even say something along the line of "You look incredible, please don't be angry if I stare at you all night." This makes her feel beautiful, desirable and establishes that you are only focused on her.

5) KISS: NOT A MAKE OUT SESSION! Not too long and not too short. A simple soft & sensual kiss. Nothing frustrates a girl more than a man who is afraid to make the first move. Women do not want to be the aggressor. Make it memorable. An example is if your are walking hold her hand. If she reciprocates then you are in good standing. Leisurely stop and turn to her. Place one hand on her cheek and tenderly kiss her for a second. Keep your hand on her cheek and tell her you have been craving that since the end the last date. Then take her hand and continue walking.

Some of these may sound great and some obsurd to you. If you utilize any or all utilize the most important. BE YOURSELF! If you are true to who you are you will have the security that she is falling for the real you.

Learn more about this author, Travis Montera.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.