by Michelle Shelly

Created on: November 12, 2008   Last Updated: February 15, 2010

One thing that you need to accept is that he or she is part of the family now. Regardless of the way you feel about him or her it is still important to make them feel welcome into the family. Don't make rude remarks to your children or your spouse about how you feel regarding the new spouse. Here are five tips on how to cope with the your grown children's spouse.

Be nice to the new spouse

You want the spouse to feel like that you are happy that he or she is part of the family. You don't want them to sense that you don't like him or her. Perhaps a welcome to the family gift might help to imply that you are really happy about him or her being there. Make sure to smile and ask about how work and family related things are going. Make sure to seem interested in him or her. Make sure to invite his or her family over for dinner on several occasions. Don't look down upon the parents for the jobs or careers that they may have. Don't look down upon the spouses career either.

Never tell your children that you have a problem with new spouse

They will automatically get offended if you even indicate that you have any problems about anything. It will hurt their feelings to hear that you don't like someone that they deeply loved enough to marry. Always say good things about the spouse to your children. Make sure to comment on work ethics and other good things that you notice or approve of about the new spouse. Don't get into an argument over the new spouse. It is not worth losing a relationship with your daughter or son.

Always say nice things about the spouses family

Don't get mad if you have to share a few holiday get together here and there each year with between your family and new spouse family. It is a common routine for families to usually do that in order to spend time with each family from both sides. It is a good idea and brings good memories that you can later put in a scrapbook.

Make sure to spend some time with the spouse

It might be a good idea to have a girls day out shopping for clothes or going out to lunch. It will help you be able to cope and eventually the problem will go away. Perhaps you can have your husband take the male spouse out for lunch or perhaps to a golf course if they enjoy golf.

Always include the new spouse in family pictures

It is important to show to the spouse that you care about them enough to have them in family pictures. It will make them feel that you care about them and you welcome them with open warms. This is a great method to make them feel a sense of belonging within the family.

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